Shattered Illusions
by kittyge
Summary: A almost deadly car accident leaves Mai Valentine stripped of her identity and totally lost. Due to a twist of fate . . . Joey Wheeler is the only one that can help her . . . but the question is, can he? JxM
1. Chapter 1

Authors' Notes: Hey, this is my newest story. It shouldn't be as long as my other stories, but I'm not sure. It is somewhat different from what I usually write, but in the same aspect it is quite similar. I guess only I get it, but maybe you'll see the difference . . . well if you've read anything else I've ever written. Enjoy!

**Disclaimer: YGO isn't mine.**

A bright white light flashed around her as her body fell forward into what she considered an oblivion of some sort. Pain traveled through her in such a way that she thought she was dying at that very moment.

Everything seemed to become quieter . . . and distant. She tried to reach for something . . . anything . . . but got nothing. She tried to scream or cry . . . but nothing came out of her mouth. She saw flashing lights coming through the darkness . . . and the only thing she could think of was 'help me'.

She didn't know if they would . . . if they could . . . in fact . . . a feeling from within her told her she was dying.

Literally . . . meaningless images from her life flashed before her eyes . . . it was if she was watching someone else's life.

She somewhat wished she did.

The last thing that Mai Valentine did before giving into the pain . . . was let one single tear drop fall from her eye. She could feel it roll down her face as she laid on the pavement.

Then the lights went out and everything finally became dark.

* * *

Suddenly, and to her surprise, she heard many beeping noises surrounding her and mumbled whispers approached her ears. She didn't know what any of it meant, but she could tell that she was lying down. Something felt firm against her back and her fingers drummed against the bedside, making gasping sounds echo through the room.

And she was in pain . . . a lot of pain.

She took a deep breath and was greeted with absolute silence and several men and women in white suits staring at her. Using whatever strength she possessed, she forcefully pushed her eyelids open to examine where exactly she was.

Her eyes opened and closed a few more times before they adjusted to the dull fluorescent lights that seemed to be around the room.

"Miss . . . miss . . . can you say anything?" one of the men asked in a very gentle voice. He was talking to her as if she was four and it annoyed her.

"We thought that you wouldn't wake up." the man continued. Instead of answering, she just glanced around the room again. She opened her mouth for a second, just to regain the use of the muscle, before responding.

"What happened?" she asked. Her voice was raspy and harsh sounding to her own ears. In her own opinion it was rather unpleasant.

"You were in a car accident . . . it was awful really . . . we didn't think you'd pull through. You were in a very deep coma." he explained. She blinked again, unable to nod in agreement.

"Who are you?" was her next question. The man, who was kneeling, now stood up and addressed himself as the world renowned Dr. Richard Lawrence.

She studied him for a quick moment, noticing the rugged handsomeness of the man. She then again opened her mouth to speak, as it was becoming easier with every time.

"And who am I?"


	2. Change In Life

Slow story . . . I just hope it picks up in just about every sense. This isn't a JoeyXOC if anybody was wondering . . . if you've read anything I've written, you'll be able to guess who this mystery woman could be . . . and just by reading this chapter . . . finding out how Joey becomes involved.

**Disclaimer**: YGO isn't mine, nor will it ever . . .

It was, for once, a remarkable beautiful day in the once dark city of Domino. The sun shone brightly down on the many people walking through the rush of the city.

Domino . . . was usually filled with hecticness, utter confusion, and a world ending dilemma of some sort . . . but not today. At least not for Joey Wheeler.

Instead of his usual 'saving the day' activities, he decided to partake in something rare to himself and his friends. He was _relaxing_.

He took off work and met up with Yugi and Tristan outside some random Café that looked so inviting that they couldn't pass it up.

They were waiting for Tea, who had grown a tendency to becoming late. Joey called it a new found character flaw, due to her lack of them . . . but Yugi said it was because she was still new to her new found fame. None of them really thought Tea would become such a famous dancer, they had supported her . . . but they never fathomed the intensity of her fame.

Not that Yugi wasn't famous enough. Joey couldn't count the number of fans that asked for his autograph let alone Yugi's. Joey was thinking about purchasing a stamp with his autograph on it actually . . . but Yugi mentioned it being too impersonal.

Joey is anything but impersonal.

"I think we should order without her." Tristan said. His stomach had been growling for several minutes straight and Joey was inclined to agree with Tristan.

"Guys, she said she'd be here . . . and she will be." Yugi repeated for what seemed like the hundredth time that day.

"Well, I'm in no hurry." Joey stated.

Tristan nodded and started to divulge into some story that Yugi found interesting. Joey on the other hand, was watching the waitress pass by them. She was carrying a pizza and Joey could feel his stomach lurch at it.

"So then . . . the cashier was like 'You can't buy that.' So I showed them my credit card and I bought it." Tristan said. Joey had caught the tale end of the story and decided to join in the conversation. He needed to keep his mind off of food.

"Wait, what did you buy?" Joey asked. Tristan gave a sly smile before going into a small laughing fit for several minutes.

"Twenty pounds of cheese." was his reply. Joey, who thought the story might become interesting, gave Tristan a very weird look.

"And what did you do with that?" Joey asked. Tristan took a deep breath before laughing again. The other people eating outside turned to look at him, but he kept laughing.

"Put it in Duke's truck . . . nope, no way Serenity is going in there now." was his answer. Joey gave him a playful slap on the back.

He wanted to laugh, and the urge was almost impossible to resist . . . but he didn't. Since Serenity was involved, Joey found the matter rather annoying and rolled his eyes before letting a small laugh escape his lips.

A silence filled the table, as one usually does after a good laugh. To everyone's surprise a ringing was heard and Joey felt a vibration in his pocket.

At times he forgot that Yugi made him buy a cell-phone.

"It's probably Tea . . . calling to tell us she can't come." Tristan stated, like he suspected it. Joey nodded in agreement as he pulled out the small phone from his pocket.

The number that flashed across the screen was unfamiliar to him. It wasn't Tea's . . . and he never saw a number like that before.

"I'll be right back." Joey said as he stepped out of the Café area and onto the sidewalk.

He pressed the small green button and answered it.

"Joey Wheeler here." he said with a smile. The voice on the other hand gave a small cough.

"Well that answers my first question. Mr. Wheeler, I am Dr. Lawrence." the man said. His voice sounded rough and Joey had no idea who the said man was.

"Uh, Dr. Lawrence, how can I help you?" Joey asked. He was wondering if maybe he forgot a doctor's appointment, and his doctor's name escaped him.

"Well um, to start off . . . call me Richard. I work in a hospital in New York and you are probably wondering why I'm calling you." Richard said.

"Yeah, I definitely am." Joey answered, after all . . . he was half way across the world. He didn't know anybody in America . . . Serenity was staying with him.

The only other person that he could think of was his mom, she was living in America and Joey didn't know where. A small feeling of terror rose within him.

"Well there is a woman here and she is suffering from severe trauma . . . she has no recollection of her memory. She was in one of the worst car crashes I've ever seen and it's rather remarkable how she survived. We've tried everything to find out who she is and we've found nothing. It's as if there is no trace of her anywhere and then finally we found a picture of you and what appears to be your sister. Luckily your name was on the back . . . " he explained.

"What can I do . . . I don't understand?" Joey said truthfully, for he felt that his previous suspicion was right. He knew Serenity hadn't talked to their mom for a month now . . . and he didn't call her ever.

"We found you . . . Mr. Wheeler, it took us some time, but luckily a duelist to your degree wasn't hard to find once we learned your name. It's good one of our doctors has a son who follows dueling just a little bit. But anyway, I know this is a lot to ask . . . we need you to come down here and tell us who she is and maybe help her regain her memory." he said.

"But didn't she have some form of identification?" Joey asked. The man sighed.

"I know . . . it seems impossible, like something out of a weird movie . . . but she had no identification. We are lead to believe that she wasn't even driving the vehicle. Whoever was with her escaped unharmed and ran for it. We have no evidence. We have nothing. She just awoke from her coma a few weeks ago . . . and is reacting to society rather well . . . but she has no idea who she is . . . " Richard explained and it seemed to Joey that there was desperation in his voice.

"When do I have to be there?" Joey asked. He could hear the doctor breathe a sigh of relief.

"As soon as possible." Richard remarked.

"I'll leave tomorrow." Joey said. Richard then told Joey where they were located and the name of the hospital. Joey, who had returned to the Café, wrote everything down on a napkin.

He hung up the phone and grudgingly walked back to his table.

"Who was that Joey?" Yugi asked. Joey looked up from the ground and faced his friend. He didn't know how to answer, and part of him didn't want to.

"Um . . . guys, I have to go away for a while. I shouldn't be long, but Yug, Serenity can stay for you for a few days, right?" Joey asked. Tristan and Yugi suddenly looked rather concerned. There was no way she was going to stay with Tristan . . . and Joey knew Yugi wouldn't try anything concerning his sister.

"Joey what happened?" Yugi asked.

"Yeah, man don't get all closed off on us . . . I mean that only happens when . . . just tell us." Tristan whined. He was trying to get Joey to say what was clearly bothering him.

Joey, on the other hand, didn't feel like sharing. The whole thing felt like an odd dream, or perhaps a nightmare.

"I think that it's my mom. I'm not sure though . . . " he said.

"So wait, what?" Tristan asked, for he was confused.

"It's confusing, but I've got to go to New York." Joey hurriedly replied. He was somewhat temperamental and anxious.

"I still don't understand." Yugi said. He could tell Joey was becoming rather annoyed by the huffing sounds he made, but in all fairness . . . Yugi was Joey's best friend and he has a right to know these things.

"Ok, here's what I know . . . there was an accident and this woman from New York was in it. She can't remember anything and the only thing they found was a picture of me and I think Serenity." Joey hurriedly explained.

"But what if it's not your mom, I mean, that is a far way to go for a wild goose chase." Tristan added, he tried to sound logical and in some sense what he said was . . . sensible.

"Well then I'm out a few hundred, no big deal really . . . it'll be a waste of my vacation days but other than that . . . I can't see any harm." Joey replied. It sounded like he was trying to convince himself more than his friends, but he was trying to make a point.

"I still don't know about this." Yugi remarked. He was all too use to traps and he didn't want Joey to be hurt.

"Yug, I can and will take care of myself. I've got to go book a flight and get a hotel room somewhere . . . all I have to say is that I hope my fame carries over well in America . . . if it does, then I should be able to register without a delay . . . I've got to go." Joey remarked and he started to walk away, but then he stopped and turned toward their table.

"Not a word to Serenity until I know what's going on." he added before turning to run out of sight.

Yugi turned to Tristan and sighed.

"Do you think this is crazy, because I know I do?" Tristan asked Yugi. Yugi just nodded.

"You can't tell him no . . . I mean, what if it is his mom?" Yugi asked. Yugi knew how moody Tristan could get whenever he suspected something unusual, so he figured he'd try to just agree with both of them.

"It just sounds weird . . . think about it Yug, who else could it be?" Tristan asked. He was exaggerating the who, but Yugi didn't get it.

"Just let it be." Yugi responded. Tristan put his head between his hands and muttered. He couldn't understand how Yugi couldn't understand what he believed he did.

* * *

Joey packed his clothes and other accessories rather quickly, after all, he didn't need much. Serenity left for Yugi's shortly after, but grudgingly. He told her that he had to go to America to see something and that answer didn't completely satisfy her, but because she is who she is, she didn't press it.

Joey decided that it was pure luck that he was able to get the only seat left on the flight and a room in the hotel.

Okay, a suite in the hotel . . . after all, he had to stay there in style. It didn't matter that on his flight he sat in the last seat in third class, nope . . . that didn't matter at all.

The fact that it was crowded and that he was sitting next to a sweaty old bald man did though. He smelled of garlic and Joey assumed it was seeping through his pores.

It just added to the sick feeling that Joey felt.

Now, when Joey talked to Yugi on the phonethe previousnight, Yugi suggested that Joey get a helicopter ride from Kaiba. Joey didn't think Kaiba would be okay with that idea.

Quite frankly, Joey didn't want to ask . . . about anything from Kaiba.

It wasn't like they were best friends.

Joey sighed as he looked out into the dark sky. The man next to him was snoring and he found it rather distracting.

How could he possible think with that irritating noise in his ear?

He sighed again, what could he possibly do? Should he remind his mom about . . . what? They didn't have a lot of memories together.

He could remind her of when she took Serenity away, how she always fought with his father . . . how she practically left him to raise himself . . .

No, it wasn't any good. Joey tried to think of good memories ever since he hung up, and nothing good came out.

Instead he remembered things about her that he tried to push back in the depth of his mind . . . things he hadn't thought about for years.

Yet everyone wondered why he seemed a little more uptight than usual.

On top of all that, there was another pressing feeling within him . . . what if it wasn't his mom? He had to silently agree with Tristan. This whole ordeal would be a waste of time.

A brief thought of it being somebody else fluttered through his mind, but he found it best not to vocalize it, and he pushed it away.

He then wondered if it was some fan who just had a picture . . . he wouldn't know what to do then.

The man turned again and Joey was glad that his head was no longer near Joey's ear. Although most of him was worried and concerned, another part was somewhat excited. He hasn't been on an adventure of any sort in such a long time.

Things were relatively calm. He was a teacher at a dueling school, but he hadn't been in a tournament for ages.

Yugi didn't have crazy madmen chasing after him, and he seemed at ease . . . even if he lost the Pharaoh . . . but as Yugi explained it, he didn't really lose the Pharaoh . . . they would just be separated for a while.

Before Joey knew it, the plane had landed and he was free of the smelly garlic man. He checked his watch and gave an involuntary shiver. It was much warmer in Japan than in New York.

That fact surprised him and he went through the lines to get his baggage rather dully. Joey was half-tempted to call Yugi at that very moment, but he didn't know what time it was in his home of Domino.

He glanced over at a clock on the wall and noticed that it was five in the morning in New York.

He took a deep sigh. It was going to be a very long day.


	3. Not A Joke

_Thank you to all of my reviewers. Huh, I usually ramble here, but I have nothing to say . . . except that this chapter is much shorter than what I usually write. Weird, huh?_

**Disclaimer:** YGO isn't mine!

* * *

Joey didn't know how long the cab ride from the airport to the hotel took. He didn't know how slowly or quickly check-in went. He didn't hear the bellboy take his bags and he was half convinced that somehow he was in a dream.

Everything seemed so mechanical . . . so surreal. Everything was just a swirl of color and voices and things that didn't make sense because he wasn't paying attention.

His mind, was on, one person. His mother.

Now Joey wasn't used to nerves, he usually pushed them down and continued to fight . . . at least when dueling. He knew that he always had his friends support . . . but he was learning that one's friends won't always be there.

It was if Joey took a big step in growing-up when he got off that plane. It was if this was a whole new chapter in his life and he couldn't help but feel that nothing would be the same.

It was a dramatic way of thinking . . . but he was a dramatic person and it was . . . of course . . . a dramatic situation.

A haze seemed to cover the city and there wasn't any sign of the sun at all. He doubted there would be through the day.

A cab was sent to his hotel, especially for him, and it took him through the city . . . down a highway . . . and into a small wooded area that seemed out of place to him. Joey wondered if he accidently landed in some parallel universe, not that it would be out of the ordinary for him or anything . . .

There was a huge building in the distance, but the first thing Joey noticed, was a huge fountain in front of it.

If it was a sunny day, he bet that the building would have shone, but due to that lack of sun . . . it seemed rather dark and dreary instead.

Everything was glass and what wasn't glass was made of some sort of white material. It was uncomfortable to him that people from inside the building could see out, but Joey couldn't see in.

He didn't dwell on the thought too much.

He entered the building and it looked like an average hospital. The waiting rooms were rather luxurious though and he wondered why everything in them seemed to be made of red velvet.

The floors were tiled and white in all of the other areas and luckily the information desk was in the center.

"Um, I'm here to see a Doctor Richard Lawrence." Joey said rather shyly. He was hoping this wasn't some big trick.  
The woman at the counter, without looking up, pointed to the elevator. "Fifth floor." was her answer and Joey nodded in appreciation.

He couldn't help but feel she was watching him walk away.

The elevator was empty except for him and was silently thankful for that.

Before he knew it, he arrived at the fifth floor. Everything seemed to be decorated in some shade of blue and pictures of sailboats and skylines were hung around the hall.

There was another huge information desk and he walked toward it, wondering about the shape of the hospital and if each floor was just about identical.

The woman behind the desk looked toward him and smiled perfectly . . . , her teeth were unnaturally white and Joey half-wished that she would stop smiling.

"And what can I do for you?" she asked slyly. Her voice sounded . . . somewhat flirtatious . . . to Joey.

"I'm here to see a Dr. Lawrence." Joey explained. She nodded at him before picking up the phone on her desk and dialing a number. Joey watched her perfectly manicured nails press each number rather gracefully before making a small huffing sound.

She muttered something inaudible into the phone before smiling at him again.

"He'll be right with you . . . you can go wait over there . . . or talk to me." she said. Joey walked over to a blue velvet couch and couldn't help but chuckle at her small sigh of annoyance.

He wasn't one to walk away from women, but he had more pressing issues on his mind. It wasn't his fault if the woman had good taste, was it?

He sat there for sometime . . . before he heard the sound of footsteps behind him. He stood up to see a man dressed in a long white coat . . . and his small silver name-tag said Dr. Richard Lawrence.

Joey studied the man for a second . . . noticing the tan skin, muscular build, perfectly brown hair and unusual green eyes.

"Joey Wheeler?" Richard asked. Joey nodded before extending out a hand toward the doctor.

The doctor shook it. His grasp was tight and Joey had to quickly let go of the handshake. Richard didn't take notice, instead he started to walk away and Joey assumed he had to follow.

"Now Joey, I thought we should talk about the condition before you go see the patient." the doctor explained.

"You're the doc." Joey answered. Richard nodded in amusement. He had a clipboard under his arm. He showed it to Joey and started to read off of it.

Unfortunately for Joey, Richard decided to use long and in-depth medical terms to describe the situation. Joey really had no idea what he was saying.

"But the strange thing is . . . is that every time she starts to get close to remembering . . . she starts to . . . go into a convulsion and passes out . . . simply speaking." Richard said. For some reason, he couldn't look Joey in the eye.

"I wonder why." Joey said plainly. Richard shrugged.

"Well I thought it might be psychological . . . maybe there is something she's trying to repress." Richard whispered.

"I could probably think of a few things." Joey answered. There were probably tragic moments in his mom's past . . . and he thought that maybe she was trying to block everything out. He could think of a few off of the top of his head.

"Why do you want to help her so bad?" Joey asked. It did seem like Richard really wanted to help Joey's mom. Otherwise, why would Richard ask Joey to fly all the way to New York? Richard looked at him. He automatically stopped looking so professional. Joey could have sworn that Richard's eyes had begun to water and his voice became mysteriously low.

"It is wrong, Mr. Wheeler, for doctors to become involved with their patients . . . but she has to be the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life . . . and I can't bear to think someone like that would be traveling through this universe without another single soul to care for them." Richard seemed hesitant to answer, but he replied to Joey quickly. Richard chose to reply in a small whisper, but it was full of convection.

"You should tell that to your secretary." Joey blurted out. Richard raised an eyebrow in question, but Joey ignored it. He silently scolded himself. He couldn't help it that he used humor in dark situations.

Joey stared at the man and a strange feeling rose through him. Perhaps, his suspicion was wrong, and this was not his mother.

"She is fine now . . . at the moment . . . if you could identify her. I could take you to her or show you a picture before you see her. Whichever you choose." Richard commanded rather loudly, as if he was trying to coverup something.

Joey thought it would be best for him to see a picture first, just in case it wasn't his mother. He didn't know what the odds of that were . . . but he'd rather be in shock away from the patient.

"Picture first." Joey said. He remembered, years ago, when he was the type of guy who always ran in head first. He was always the type of guy to take risks. To a certain extent, he still is . . . but years of battling evil left Joey with much more common sense than most people gave him credit for.

Richard led him down another long hallway into an empty office. Joey assumed it was his.

Richard took out a small key and unlocked a drawer in the filing cabinet. He then opened it and ran through some folders, muttering to himself.

Joey glanced around the room and noticed that it looked like a normal office. It had a huge desk, computer, and papers were astray everywhere. He was surprised that there were no pictures of the man's friends or family anywhere though. Richard didn't even look that old.

"Here it is." Richard said as he handed a folder to Joey.

Joey nodded in appreciation as he held the folder in his hands. It was somewhat heavy and Joey figured that all of his mom's recent medical records were in it.

Suddenly a phone went off in the background.

Richard quickly answered it. He then excused himself because of business and left Joey alone.  
It was just a folder . . . at least that's how Joey tried to convince himself.

He took a deep breath, after all, this particular folder meant a lot. It was the reason he flew around the world . . . to see the person in it.

He opened the flap and saw a few medical papers on top. He skimmed through them, but they mostly talked about the details of the accident.

Joey could feel his stomach drop and he flipped through the papers some more. There were charts and graphs and things Joey didn't understand, but no picture.

Sighing he looked through the rest of the papers until he came to the end.

First, there were picturers of the car. It was sleek and black, but definitely totaled. The front end was bunched up and glass from the windshield was scattered all over it and the ground.

There was also blood covering the scene. It made Joey wonder why someone would just let a stranger look at the photos.

Continuing, Joey saw pictures of a body in the distance. He didn't understand why someone was taking pictures of what appeared to be a woman instead of helping her.

Each picture was closer to her until they reached her face.

Joey stared at it for a moment and swallowed deeply.

The woman was covered in blood . . . her blood. Yet Joey knew who it was.

It was so easy to tell even though the blood colored her hair and remnants of glass laid on her face . . . even though her eyes were closed and any color faded away from her face until she looked as white as her teeth used to be.

Joey didn't feel the folder drop down on the ground and he frowned at the papers that flew out of it and scattered on the floor.

He was picking them up and muttering to himself when Richard walked in wearing a suspicious expression. Joey stood up, put the papers back into the folder messily, and pushed it against Richard's chest.

"Listen, I don't know anything about you . . . but this is a twisted version of a sick joke." Joey said in frustration. Richard seemed confused.

"This is not a joke Joey . . . I wouldn't joke about something like this." Richard explained calmly.

Joey, who had started to leave, spun around on his heel and sighed.

"So, you're serious?" he asked, his voice sounding more unsure with each word.

"Yeah, so . . . can you help?" Richard replied back. Joey had definitely got the feeling that Richard had a crush on the female patient, but why should Joey help? Why should he pull himself into something so deep that he wasn't sure that he could get out?

Joey didn't want the pain. He couldn't deal with the pain . . . her pain more so than his.

"I don't know . . . things didn't end well last time we met up." Joey replied. Richard sighed.

"Well maybe seeing someone's she's mad at will spark something in her." Richard added hopefully.

Joey shook his head. It didn't sound like a good idea, but no matter what the small voice in his head said . . . his heart disagreed.

He knew he couldn't leave her hopeless and alone . . . again. And he wouldn't. He was as much as a whipped puppy now then he ever was before . . . at least Kaiba wasn't there to rub it in.

Unfortunately Joey wasn't answering as fast as Richard wanted.

"Will you at least tell me her name?" Richard pleaded. His voice sounded desperate.

Joey shifted the weight between his heels to his toes and sighed. He knew that at that moment there was no turning back . . . or letting go.

"Mai Valentine . . . her name is Mai Valentine."


	4. Meeting You

_Hey! Thanks for all of the wonderful reviews! I loved them all and appreciate that you guys are taking the time to review! This chapter isn't as 'deep' as I hoped it would be, but I love writing Joey and Mai banter!

* * *

_

Richard raised an eyebrow. "Mai Valentine?" he asked.

Joey numbly nodded as Richard scribbled the name down hastily on the top of the folder. He mumbled something about a joke, but Joey ignored him.

"Now that we know that . . . we'll be able to hopefully do a background check." Richard replied. Although his voice was low, Joey could hear the excitement coming from it.

"So uh . . . when do I get to see her?" Joey asked.

"Whenever you want." Richard responded as he started to dial a number into the phone.

Joey sighed. Now or never . . . he figured.

"Now . . . yes . . . right now." Joey said determinedly. It sounded as if he was trying to prove to himself that he could handle doing whatever it was that he planned to do, but Richard ignored it and nodded as he hung up the phone.

"I have people looking her up right now. At least we'll be able to see if there was anything medically that could be causing the convulsions." Richard explained as he left the room without telling Joey to follow . . . again.

"She is fine right now . . . a little worse for the wear of course . . . but she actually just got over one of her little fits." Richard added. Joey just nodded, unsure of what to say or how to act.

When they reached the room, Joey assured Richard he would be fine. Richard somewhat listened and mentioned that he would return in a while to report what they had found out and to check on Mai.

Joey reached for the doorknob and took a deep sigh. He twisted it slowly and closed his eyes. He didn't know what he would be seeing . . . so he went in blind. This way, he couldn't back out right away if need be.

He stepped into the room, shut the door and opened his eyes.

The first thing he noticed was the number of machines around the small bed. Then his eyes wondered to the decor of the room. Everything was painted in an off green type of color.

Following the flower border on the wall, his saw the tv and that it was being shut off at that very second.

Then he saw her.

And she looked the same.

Curly blonde hair, huge amethyst eyes, a little bit paler . . . and . . . weak.

He pulled over a plastic chair near her bed and she just glared at him. She looked fragile . . . almost breakable.

A thousand thoughts ran through Joey's head. He didn't know what to say or do . . . in fact he was having a hard time mustering up the courage to talk to her.

Now Joey Wheeler always had a lot of courage . . . he was known for it . . . in the dueling world and from his friends. Yet something about the particular woman in front of him clouded his feelings.

She was still staring at him, looking him up and down and raising an eyebrow at his casual appearance.

"Um . . . who are you?" she asked after sometime. Mai didn't like the creepy silence in which she found herself living in ever since she came out of the coma.

The first thing that ran through Joey's head involved him screaming. How could she not know him? How could she not remember him? Was Joey hoping that seeing him would automatically snap her out of whatever daze she was in . . . yes he did. That, unfortunately, didn't seem to work. He didn't claim to be smart . . . and the idea seemed like a good one.

"Okay . . . so you're not talkative." she muttered as she traced her fingers over the top of the blanket.

Joey cracked a small smile at the irony. She was usually telling him to shut up . . . or she used to.

"I'm Joey . . . Wheeler." he finally said.

"Okay . . . I've heard that name before . . . oh you're the person Richard told me about!" Mai replied, mostly talking to herself. Joey rolled his eyes for a second.

"Shouldn't you be calling him Doctor Lawrence?" Joey asked, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. Mai turned to him and a small smirk appeared on her face.

"Why, jealous?" she asked him. Joey again rolled his eyes and sighed.

"No . . . not at all." he answered quickly. She frowned and almost looked disappointed.

"Oh . . . well then fine . . . soooo let's get this over with . . . what can you tell me?" she asked him.

"What do you want to know?" he asked in reply. He figured he should have started with her name, but then decided to let her control the conversation. He was fuming about the jealous question. Why would he be jealous . . . and besides, it was an odd way to jump into a conversation with a person who didn't know him. She seemed so excited to learn . . . so eager . . .

"Well. My name would be a great place to start." she said as if he were stupid.

"Mai Valentine." he answered. To his surprise she hurriedly sat up and looked at him with a rather astonished look.

"Are you serious?" she asked as she fought back laughter. He nodded.

She looked away and made an _oh_ sound.

"My parents must have hated me . . . explains a lot . . . no wonder they didn't visit or try to find me." she said as if she figured something out. Something dropped in Joey stomach and he was fighting the urge to puke.

"Your parents are dead . . . and if they were alive, from what I gathered . . . they wouldn't be looking for you." Joey responded.

Mai turned to look at him with a frown.

"Did they die after I . . ." she started to ask, but Joey already knew the answer.

"No . . . way before. You never said how or anything . . . just a brief mention and that's it." he answered solemnly.

She looked at him, confused and sick.

"No other family?" she asked in such a tiny voice that Joey was half-tempted to lie.

"No . . . you were always a loner." he replied. A sadness came over him so greatly that he thought he'd have to leave her.

She had been through so much and thanks to fate . . . it was his job to tell her everything. How could he tell her? About what she went through . . . about what she did and almost did . . . about how . . . It was too much for him.

He bit his lip and looked around the room, at anything but her. Her expression dropped to a rather miserable one.

"So you're it?" she asked. Her voice dropped to a whisper and she wouldn't look Joey in the eye.

"I'm it." he responded.

"Wow . . . that's something . . . guess I must have been a horrible person or something." she replied bitterly. It didn't make sense to her that there was only one person in the whole entire world that cared about her at all . . . and she didn't even know anything about him. He seemed nice enough . . . trusting . . . but how could she really know?

Joey sat in silence, unsure ofhow to answer or what to do next. It was just . . . so hard . . . for him to look at her and see her . . . even though she wasn't really there. It was if somebody else was taking a walk around in her body. The whole ordeal didn't make sense to him and he had pinched himself several times, just to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"No wonder you're so quiet . . . how do you say something to someone who has no one . . . " she mumbled. Joey rolled his eyes, surely he had to count for somebody?

"Okay . . . what else do you know about me . . . favorite color, tv show, sport . . . whatever. Just statistic stuff. Rich says maybe if I found out about what I liked . . . that that might spark something." she said hopefully. It was quite obvious that she was trying to change the subject.

"Well . . . I think your favorite color was purple. You never said, but I assumed. And you're calling him Rich now?" Joey said. For some reason he shrugged and sighed.

"Why does it matter what I call him . . . and I probably liked purple . . . because it must have brought out my eyes. Yes . . . that has to be it." she concluded, but quickly added in a high-pitched tone, "But what kind of friend are you . . . I mean that's all you know about me . . . is my favorite color and you just assumed that, there are tons of different shades of purple . . . "

Joey rubbed his temple and frowned at how difficult she was being. He knew she didn't realize how difficult this was for him. Not to mention the guilt Joey felt for putting his own emotions over hers . . . but she was being so forward . . . so demanding. It was like he didn't even know her now . . . everything that was Mai Valentine was lost. He didn't think he could put her back together either.

"Listen it's just weird for you to be calling your doctor . . . who thinks you're cute . . . Rich . . . " Joey said, throwing his hands in the air for emphasis. He figured that it was best to get this whole doctor issue taken care of. The simpleness of the issue took Joey's mind off of the more serious aspects. Mai made a huffing noise.

"First of all . . . why are you hounding on that? I mean there are more important things to talk about . . . like me. Second of all . . . why do you care? It's not your business. And lastly . . . he just thinks I'm cute? That's it . . . huh . . . " she finished in a quiet outrage.

"All I meant was if something was going on then you should tell me . . . see there is this thing . . . " Joey started to say, but was cut off by Mai's ranting.

"Okay, I'm not stupid . . . I know about . . . things. I just don't know who I am or my past . . . but . . . of all the nerve to come in here and . . . " Mai couldn't finish her sentence. She rubbed her temples and took a deep breath.

"Are you okay?" Joey asked worriedly, hurriedly forgetting the small argument.

"I'm fine." Mai replied rather snobbish. Joey rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air as a sign of surrender.

Suddenly there was a small knock on the door which startled both of them. Richard came through carrying a clipboard and wearing a bright smile.

"So what did you find out?" he asked. Mai smiled sweetly . . . too sweetly for Joey's taste.

"Well my parents are dead . . . I have no family and my favorite color is purple." she said some what sarcastically. It was almost inaudible, but Joey could pick it out immediately.

"It's probably to bring out your eyes, what shade?" Richard asked. Mai shrugged and turned to look at Joey, wearing a smirk.

She then heard something coming from Joey that sounded like 'Please be gay'. She frowned.

"You are so rude." she whispered. Luckily Dr. Richard was looking at some papers across the room and didn't notice.

Joey just smiled back. Mai rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"If I could remember you . . . I'd hit you." she added.

"Wouldn't be the first time." Joey answered. Mai raised an eyebrow in curiosity, but Richard interrupted the banter.

"Mr. Wheeler, can I talk to you in the hallway for a second?" Richard asked. Joey muttered 'gladly' just enough so Mai could hear. She was half tempted to throw her pillow at him, but didn't.

She didn't know why he seemed to infuriate her so easily. Was it some carried over feeling? Maybe he did that to everyone? She had no clue, and wasn't sure if she wanted to find out.

Joey stepped outside of Mai's door and stood by the doctor.

"Listen . . . she's doing rather well now . . . and she has no need to be here. She can be released . . . if she goes with you. If she starts to go into convulsions then you should bring her back . . . immediately. " Richard explained as if Joey was a small child and needed lectured.

"Does she know about this?" Joey asked.

"No . . . but I need an answer." Richard demanded.

Joey bit his lip. Right now . . . would be a perfect time to back out . . . to say he can't help . . . Joey tried to convince himself of that anyway. But the whatever it was in Joey wouldn't let him walk away. It was Mai . . . and for some reason, he had to save her. He didn't know why, not really, but he had to.

"Yeah, she can stay at my hotel. I'll be here for a while." Joey answered. His voice sounded like he had to force himself to reply, but Richard ignored him.

"Wonderful . . . I'll go get the papers." he responded as he walked away. Joey was very close to batting his head against the wall . . . but decided against it.

He reentered the room to Mai's annoyed sigh. To her surprise he sat on the side of her bed. She looked shocked, but then the look disappeared.

"You have a choice . . . come with me or stay here . . . " Joey said forcefully. Mai laughed.

"Right . . . and why would I want to go with you, and what brought this on?" she asked. Joey sighed.

"Okay, you really don't have a choice, I was just hoping you'd be surprised by my determinedness and come with me." he answered quickly. He was halfway hoping Mai didn't hear what he said, but she laughed . . . and to his surprise he did too.

"So why would I want to go with you again?" she asked, slightly amused.

"Because I'm all you've got." he replied seriously. The seriousness shocked her and she stared at him for a moment.

There were a million reasons running through her head why she shouldn't go with him . . . but who else did she have?

"You're serious, aren't you?" she asked, quietly. She was avoiding his gaze and missed his nod.

"Completely." was his only response. It was quiet and lacked all of the conviction that he usually carried.

"But you can help me right, you're not some weirdo . . . you really want to help?" she asked. Not that she suspected him to tell her if his intentions were bad or not, but she felt the question needed to be voiced anyway.

"Yeah, I really do." was the quiet reply. Mai nodded a few times. Part of her wanted to ask if they were anything. She wanted to know the relationship between Joey Wheeler and herself . . . if it was . . . more than just friendship. Maybe he was her boyfriend or a longtime friend . . . or . . . if he just knew her and it wasn't anything more than that.

"You okay?" he asked after sometime.

"Yeah, just trying to figure something out is all. It's nothing." she said with a sigh.

"Might do you good to get out of this room." Joey stated as he glanced around again.

"Yeah . . . everything gets boring after a while." Mai responded as she let her head lean against the wall.

Everything seemed to be going so fast for her. And yet, at the same time, nothing seemed to be moving at all. Here was this handsome man here who said he could help her regain her memory and yet she was still lost. She was still her . . . just alone. Mai could feel a burning feeling at the back of her eyes.

What if this didn't work? What if she was just putting her hopes up just to be dashed down? Mai closed her eyes for a moment. She would not cry. Something within her wouldn't allow it. Probably pride . . . she didn't know.

"Listen Joey . . . " she started to say but he interrupted her.

"You don't have to say anything." was his response. Mai's eyes quickly opened and looked at him.

"Do you know what I see when I look in the mirror?" she asked. Joey stared at her curiously.

"No." was his only answer. Mai turned to look over in the corner of the room, away from Joey.

"Nothing . . . just nothing. Not beauty or passion or anything . . . not even hate. Nobody knows how much I wish I could just look at myself . . . and even just hate me . . . but I can't. All I see is a shell . . . an empty shell. And I want to change it, me, you know? I want to cut my hair or straighten it . . . Hell I'd even dye it black if it could make me see something . . . but I know it won't. Because I'm empty . . . all there is . . . is a shell." her voice was low and only a whisper, but she seemed so transfixed by what she was saying that Joey was afraid to move. Because if he did, he thought she might stop talking and then she'd be lost to him . . . again.

"How do you fix that? What if you can't . . . and you put all this time into helping me . . . for nothing. What if a shell is all I'm doomed to be?" she asked, this time addressing Joey. She could tell by the way his lip twitched that he was tensing up, but she had to know.

"I won't accept it . . . there is no if's . . . " was his reassured reply. He wasn't looking at her, and she couldn't see his eyes. If she could, she would have seen them water.

"How can you be sure?" she asked. She sounded so meek, so scared. Joey shrugged.

"Just gotta believe it." he answered calmly. Mai studied him for a second and took a deep breath before gazing out the window at the trees that were below it. She could hardly see the skyline of the city, but the smoke and fog were still there.

"I'll go wait out there while you get changed . . . you do have something to uh change into, right?" Joey asked. Mai turned from the window and nodded.

"Yeah . . . but just one outfit . . . so um . . . " she started to say but Joey sighed.

"We'll worry about that later." he replied. He really wasn't in the mood for a shopping trip, but it was rather inevitable.

Again she nodded and he shut the door behind himself. Richard approached him shortly after and he signed a few papers and listened to Richard's ramble.

Mai came out, dressed in a black skirt and violet top, one Joey never saw before. She looked ready to go, but Richard grabbed her arm and pulled her down the hall.

He started to whisper something to her, but Joey couldn't hear. The jealous feeling that he experienced earlier had started to rise through his stomach again, but he chocked it down. He saw Richard hand her a small piece of paper, smile, and walk away.

Mai stayed rooted to the spot and watched Richard walk around the corner. She then crinkled the small piece of paper in her hand and threw into the nearest trash can. She walked over to Joey wearing a bright smile on her face.

"So, how much money do you have to spend on me? I'm going to need clothes, obviously a lot of them . . . and a purse, probably several . . . oh and shoes . . . well maybe one pair of boots that could match everything. I mean these aren't bad but . . . sunglasses, yes I need sunglasses . . . " she babbled on, counting each item off on her finger and completely missing the fact that Joey had stopped walking beside her.

"Uh wait, what was all that about?" he asked as he ran up to her. Mai looked at him curiously and pressed the button on the elevator.

"Nothing, just gave me his phone number." Mai replied nonchalantly as she watched the silver doors open and walked into the empty elevator.

"Isn't that a little weird?" Joey asked. Mai shrugged and pressed the button for the first floor and then frowned at the shape of her nails. They desperately needed filed.

"Doesn't that even bother you at all?" Joey continued. Mai rolled her eyes.

"So are you always this obsessive? I mean, seriously, we've got bigger issues." Mai stated as she leaned against the side, looking at the carpet which suddenly became rather interesting.

Joey sighed and leaned against the opposite side. He was constantly reminding himself that this was not the Mai he knew . . . and that for some reason, they must instinctively annoy each other.

The doors opened, too slowly for Joey's taste, and Mai started to walk away without him again.

"Would you stop doing that?" he somewhat demanded. She stopped, looked at him, and placed her hands on her hips.

"Would you stop being so slow?" was her response. Her bored expression changed into a rather amused one.

Joey glared at her, a small smile appearing on his own face. She always was a smart aleck, he figured it was a trait she was born with.

He knew that they had a long way to go, to get her memory. Joey had no plan or idea how to go about it. He just hoped that he didn't lose his sanity trying to find hers.

* * *

_Okay two things for this chapter: One- I'm not sure exactly what happened to Mai's parents, I don't remember . . . so I'm going to say their dead. I'm sorry if that's wrong . . . but it's not a big deal. Two- Now that you know Mai is the patient, I hope that she doesn't seem to out of character, but remember . . . she has no memory of anything so everything negative or positive that she ever knew is gone . . . those experiences that made her grow as a person are gone . . . so we are just left with . . . petty emotions._


	5. Of Heartaches and Sunglasses

Hey, long time . . . well um, I've become one of those people who never update. Yes I have. But don't worry, this story will be finished . . . I hope. Just kidding. Yeah well you all know how life goes, finishing my fanfic is way down on my list of things to do . . . but the important (and perhaps sad) thing is that it is on my list.

Review if you want.

**Disclaimer: YGO not mine**

He twirled the sunglasses around his finger. The sun didn't bother him and it wasn't that sunny out to begin with. But she said she had to have a pair . . . and not an average pair either. Oh no, they had to be huge black-rimmed ones with who knows what kind of purple gems embodied on the side.

So Joey, being the gentleman that he was, bought her the sunglasses . . . and she hadn't even worn them yet. Instead, she complained about how heavy the shopping bags were. Which, in turn, left Joey carrying what seemed like millions of bags down the sidewalk in an unfamiliar city that seemed to have a new store every other step.

It did satisfy her though. There were no sarcastic remarks or annoying sighs from her (except when she tried on something too small). Instead there was 'Is this my color?', 'I don't know which one to get!' and the ever popular 'Does this make me look fat?'

Of course after what seemed like hours of shopping, Mai seemed happy with the purchases. Joey was just happy that he brought his credit card, which, miraculously was really taken everywhere . . . just like on the commercials.

Mai was walking beside him, talking about something dealing with shoes, he kept on nodding . . . hoping she wasn't noticing that he wasn't even close to listening.

Instead a hesitant feeling arose within him.

Now, to some guys, (he figured) . . . walking down the street with a blonde bombshell and going to a very exclusive and private hotel room seems like . . . perfection.

Of course instead of sheer happiness, Joey was terrified.

See, he knew, that once the fun of shopping wore off . . . once the happiness depleted and the clothes were hung and folded . . . she would wonder.

She would ask and expect answers . . . answers Joey couldn't give . . . didn't want to give . . . but knew he had to.

To him, it seemed like she was in another world . . . full of shoes and sunglasses and millions of different types of Itallian made purses . . . and yet . . . aloof. Lost even, he figured.

Ever since they left the hospital she hadn't stopped talking, not really. But it wasn't an in depth conversation or even an inquisitive one. Instead she had taken to talking about shopping and hadn't wavered from that topic even when they stepped out of the cab that brought them from the hospital to the city.

He wondered if she, like him, was covering up for something. Maybe she was just as terrified as he was.

He turned to her, and she was looking around the city. She had stopped talking and Joey enjoyed the silence . . . well as much silence as one can get in the middle of New York City.

"Where is this hotel again?" Mai asked. It seemed to her that they were walking around in circles and the size of the city confused her. There were so many side streets and it looked to her that one wrong turn could be her last.

"Over there." he answered as he shook his head in the direction. Mai looked over and saw a huge building with black frames and huge windows. There was a door attendant waiting to just open the doors and let them in. Mai was impressed.

"What was it that said you do again?" Mai asked.

"I didn't.'' was Joey's simple reply. Mai nodded, she thought she asked him, but she didn't. Whatever it was that he did, he did it well. She just hoped it wasn't illegal, but he didn't seem like the illegal type . . . more like the occasional put a toe across that legal line . . . but pull it back type.

As they entered the hotel, an unfamiliar feeling arose in Mai. Everything looked so luxurious . . . expensive, and she felt that this . . . this richness that she was surrounded in . . . was where she was supposed to be.

It was if she belonged here. And yet . . . it wasn't a fully satisfying feeling . . . just a simple warm feeling and that's it.

She followed Joey into the glass elevator, down a hallway, and into a room.

Well, it looked more like an apartment to her. There was a living room area, dining area, small kitchen . . . a huge bathroom . . . two bedrooms (one with a gigantic closet), and an outside porch.

She saw some suitcases sitting by the couch and believed that they were Joey's.

"I want this room." she said as she walked into the closet. Yes, that would do. The bed was huge . . . the room was colorful . . . and it had a nice outside view. Joey frowned.

"Wait . . . I should pick." he said. Mai looked at him confused.

"Why? I have the most stuff . . . I go in the room with the most space . . . easy enough." she replied as she took her bags from his hand and shut her door in his face.

He took a deep breath and turned away.

After Joey was done packing (in relative silence) he sat on the couch and picked up the tv guide. Surely there had to be some comedy on television that he could watch.

Unfortunately at that very moment Mai so happened to be finished doing whatever it was that took her so long. She walked very slowly over to the couch and sat on the opposite end.

Joey looked at her and then returned to the tv guide hastily. Mai sighed and started to twirl a strand of her hair around her finger.

"What now?" she asked out of boredom. Joey shrugged and started to search for the remote.

"Uh hello . . . I thought you were supposed to help me?" Mai asked as she watched Joey walk around the room, searching.

"I will . . . am . . . " he answered as he picked up a newspaper, frowned at the empty table under it, and threw it in the trash can.

Mai rolled her eyes and huffed as she put her arm in the air and smirked. Joey looked over and bit his lip. He didn't know how, but Mai had the remote . . .

. . . and she was rubbing it in his face.

"You know. You could have turned the television on manually." Mai replied as she placed the remote on the table in front of her. Joey didn't respond, because honestly, he didn't think of that.

Instead he walked over and took his previous seat. He leaned forward, in deep concentration, before leaning back trying to look casual.

"How are you going to help me? Are you going to tell me a story . . . or what you know about me . . . something, anything?" she asked him.

Joey shrugged, he really hadn't gotten that far yet. In fact that was part of the reason he was fretting earlier. He didn't have a plan . . . he thought that somehow . . . he would just know.

"Well . . . I suppose the beginning would be a good place to start." Joey stated as he scratched his head.

"Yeah." Mai replied snottily. She thought that they already established that. She couldn't figure out why it seemed like he wasn't even trying. It was like she had to pull the information out of him . . . maybe he didn't even know her at all. Maybe it was a fluke . . . maybe he just met her once and that was it. Whatever the case, the longer she was kept waiting, the more frustrated she became.

Joey sighed. He didn't know what to say. In fact, he was half-tempted to call Yugi and ask him. He always seemed to know . . . without rushing in headfirst and messing everything up. Yet, the other half, was telling Joey that he had to handle things on his own.

Mai rolled her eyes and tapped her foot off of the floor. He wasn't telling her anything. . . . at all. Maybe he was her boss . . . and he didn't know much. Maybe she was being a little too harsh on him. If he was her boss though . . . why would she have that one outfit . . . and a picture of him.

Maybe they were having an affair. She was obviously not related to him. Suddenly a strange and somewhat sickening idea hit her. He didn't know her . . . and her outfit was defiantly showy . . . to say the least.

"Was I a prost . . . " she started to ask, but Joey turned to her and quickly shouted no. She couldn't help but laugh at the small blush rising in his face. It wasn't her fault . . . and she obviously had to ask to find out anything.

"Well I guess you can't help me as well as I thought." she considered.

Joey stood up from the couch and looked directly at her.

"Yes I can . . . I said I could . . . I just got to figure out how." he replied lamely. Mai rolled her eyes.

"So do you usually jump into crisis without a plan?" she retorted. Joey shrugged.

"Yeah . . . usually." he replied. He figured he should have learned his lesson by now.

Mai sat there stunned. At least she was ready for absolute failure.

"You just . . . listen. This is hard for me too. I just can't . . . jump into it . . . I've got to think on it for a while." Joey tried to explain. He was becoming angry, not at her, but at himself for being so foolish . . . for thinking he could bring her back . . . again.

"What? Think about what? How is it hard for you? Maybe I'd be a little bit more compassionate toward you if you'd give some idea . . . of anything . . . I mean, you're all I've got . . . and you're pitiful at best. So, my parents are dead . . . I have no family. What could be worse then being alone . . . what?" she asked as she pushed up off the couch. Rage crept into her voice and any amused feeling was gone. Instead she wanted to punch something . . . anything.

"There are worse things then being alone." Joey whispered as he looked away from her.

"Listen . . . all that we're doing is fighting . . . I mean, we aren't going to solve this problem until you get over whatever little complex that you have." Mai stated very matter of fact tone.

Joey laughed bitterly. Yeah . . . fighting . . . they always did a lot of that. Where did she get off telling him to get over . . . he sighed.

He didn't answer so Mai frowned, pushed him out of the way, and walked into the kitchen, desperate to find something either with alcohol or chocolate . . . and hopefully a mixture of the two.

She rummaged through cabinets and the fridge . . . all empty. Joey mustn't have boughten food yet and she wasn't even going to go to the small snack bar downstairs where nothing was less than twenty dollars.

Somehow begging for money wasn't her style.

Joey stood firmly in his spot. She pushed him . . . of course . . . always fighting. He knew it was his fault. He was either talking to much or not enough . . . or being there too much or totally leaving her. Somehow he had to find a balance . . . had to fix this mess . . . had to fix her.

He glared at the carpet, blinking back tears. It was hard for him, and he was truthful when he said it. He didn't want to start babbling about how they first met or how she put her whole soul into destroying him . . .

Joey shook his head. It wasn't something that easy to get over. Sure, he was happy. But sometimes . . . on cold, lonely nights . . . bitter memories from the past crept into his dreams . . . leaving nothing but a cold empty feeling within him. Nobody else understood . . . so he never mentioned it, he just let it go.

But how was he supposed to pull all the memories he tried to block out? He sure in Hell didn't know.

"You were engaged once." Joey said out of the blue. Mai came out of the kitchen, empty handed, and looked at him confused.

"Um . . . it was accidently actually. He was this movie actor . . . thought you were a prize possession . . . but you showed him." Joey reminisced with a laugh. Mai continued to stare at him.

So she was engaged . . . a very vague recollection . . . but at least he was talking, and laughing. She was half-tempted to ask for more . . . but didn't, knowing she'd get rejected and fumbled for an answer.

"Possession? Huh, sounds like a real prince." she said sarcastically. Joey nodded.

"Yeah . . . but he was rich." Joey added with a shrug. Mai rolled her eyes.

"Rich? And I walked away from that, why?" she joked. Joey began to say something, but stopped . . . he didn't get her joke.

"I don't know . . . maybe because he was a huge creep." he said. Mai shrugged her shoulders and plopped down onto the chair, hanging her legs over one side and her head against the other.

"Whatever you say . . . listen, I'm bored . . . I think that you should take me somewhere or entertain me somehow." she requested. Joey snorted in response.

"I said I'd help you find your memory . . . not entertain you. I mean . . . I took you shopping, that has to count for something." he explained.

"Fine . . . be boring. Or at least help me. You know . . . talk." she replied, drawing out each word so that he could understand it.

"Later, okay. I did . . . you know . . . just get here, and some sleep would be nice." Joey pleaded as he stretched out along the couch.

Mai sighed a few times, threw the chair pillow on the floor, kicked her legs, and sighed again. Joey tossed and turned, sighed at her sighing, and ended up looking toward the blank television screen.

"Are you hungry?" he asked after sometime. Mai sat up correctly and flashed him a smile.

"Starving . . . I was going to say something but I didn't want you yelling at me again." was her sarcastic reply. Joey groaned and pushed himself off of the couch.

"Yeah, but you could sigh and kick and throw things . . . and can't you sit on a chair right?" he asked her, rage filling him. She was annoying him so bad . . . and it was . . . driving him absolutely crazy.

"You are . . . you're so immature.'' he continued.

"Right . . . please . . . who throws a hissy fit over the littlest thing?" she added.

"You." was Joey's only reply. Mai stood up, scowled, walked to her room . . . and slammed the door.

Joey watched it shut and frowned.

Things weren't working as he had planned. Things weren't working at all.

Mai reemerged a few moments later, wearing sunglasses and wearing a forced smile. Joey, had of course, learned what Mai's forced smiles had looked like long ago . . . this was nothing new.

She had a purse dangling from her arm . . . and Joey wondered what was inside it, but didn't ask.

"Are you ready?" he asked, as he felt around in his pocket for his wallet. She nodded and followed him out the door and out of the hotel.

"Where do you want to go?" he asked, trying as hard as he could to be polite. She shrugged and tossed her hair back.

"Don't care . . . wherever." was her snotty remark.

Instead of replying, he started walking and she followed a few steps behind.

They walked for a while, in completely uncomfortable silence, until he found a small French restaurant with tables that were covered by an awning.

He sat down, waited, and she sat across from him. Before he knew a menu was placed before him and Mai still hadn't uttered a word.

He sat up straighter and made a small coughing sound . . . but still no response. He stared at her, then at the sky. The sun was setting.

"Why are you wearing those?" he asked after looking at her a few times.

"Because then you won't know that when you talk to me I'm looking away. Plus they look good." she answered without even taking her eyes off of her menu.

Joey sighed, something he was sick of doing. He was really just sick of . . . well . . . her and she had only been around him for a few hours.

"You know I could leave you here." he whispered, hoping that maybe she would . . . drop the attitude.

She didn't look up or away . . . just sat perfectly still before answering.

"And then I could just take my shirt off and I'm sure I could find lots of guys to help me."

Joey didn't know how to respond to that, so he glared at the menu instead.

The waiter came over and they ordered, Mai of course, flashing him a beautiful smile which resulted in Joey mumbling.

They sat in silence again. She pulled out a magazine from her purse and started flipping through the pages.

Joey leaned back into his chair, pouting. He knew it would be difficult . . . but he didn't think it would be impossible.

A waitress who was wiping tables approached his.

"Listen, I uh know that you already were waited on . . . but seeing you two together make me think of my boyfriend . . . and you two are just so cute." she said quickly. She was obviously a young sixteen-year-old girl, obsessed with forever love . . . at least that's what Joey assumed.

He gave a small laugh and for once Mai looked up at him.

"Not even in his dream's sweetheart." she said coldly. The girl turned several shades of red before apologizing and walking away. So much for trying to get tipped.

Joey shook his head and looked down at the floor.

"Mai."

She looked up and scowled.

"What?" she asked, annoyed at the interruption.

"I didn't say anything." Joey replied.

"Oh real cute . . . you said my name." she said sarcastically.

"No I didn't, I'm serious . . . I didn't know you heard voices too . . . must be a side effect to that whole losing your memory thing. Maybe someone is saying . . . 'Ow my head, it hurts from listening to that woman whine and complain.' "Joey answered, throwing the sarcasm back at her.

She huffed and returned to her magazine.

"Mai."

"Joey, stop it." she demanded, throwing the magazine on the table.

"I didn't say anything." he said honestly.

Mai bit her lip and glared.

Suddenly and to both of their surprise, a man walked over to their table and stared at her.

"Wow, I can't believe you're here . . . " he said, totally lost in the sight of her. She laughed.

"Oh wow . . . is that how you're going to call it even Joey . . . hire some guy with a hot accent to act astonished?" she asked.

The man turned to Joey . . . and just kind of looked at him.

"Oh, you're . . . here, together." he concluded . . . absentmindedly.

"Moreorless." Joey replied shortly.

"Well not in the sense of together . . . more in the sense of like . . . being in the same place against one's will." Mai replied as she picked up her magazine and flipped through it.

"Did I . . . did I do something to make you mad at me Mai?" he asked sadly. Mai didn't respond.

"You did a lot of things . . . " Joey started to say, but was interrupted by a rude 'shut up' from the man.

This grabbed Mai's attention and she put the magazine down.

"Hey I like you already.'' she said happily, and she flashed him a smile before lowering her glasses to look at him.

He was indeed good looking . . . and he knew her, from somewhere. She took the glasses off, placed them in her purse, and stared at him for a while.

"Please, continue yelling at Joey . . . I commend you for it." she continued. He smiled at her and Joey frowned. Somewhere, in the pit of his stomach, he wanted to puke all over them.

"Mai . . . I don't know why you're acting so strange." he said.

"Because I lost my memory . . . and you look like a guy who could make me remember." she teased.

He didn't move, just stared before leaning against the table and looking at Joey.

"What did you do?" he asked, and his voice made Mai think he sounded dangerous. His knuckles were white from him putting pressure on them and she thought he might just start a fight . . . he seemed so . . . possessive. Something clicked in her mind.

"Did we almost get married?" she asked. He stood up, forgetting his anger toward Joey and gazed at her.

"Go ahead and answer that one . . . Valon." Joey joked.

"Huh, Valon . . . I like that name." Mai noted as she leaned back. Valon seemed uncomfortable.

"What would . . . no . . . uh no." he answered quickly, too quickly for Mai's taste. She frowned.

"Then what were we? I mean are you my friend . . . second cousin twice removed . . . ex boyfriend, what?" she asked, annoyed. Valon seemed hesitant or maybe just confused. Whatever it was . . . Mai wanted answers and besides . . . he wasn't even flirting back.

"We uh . . . there was . . . um . . . huh . . . we had a thing, sort of." Valon replied. He couldn't explain what they had, for he felt, that it was too powerful for simple words.

"A thing, geez . . . what is it with you people and and vagueness . . . " she argued. Her temper was rising.

"What do you mean lost your memory?" Valon asked, looking at Joey . . . he sounded unsure.

"She was in an accident . . . and now can't remember anything." Joey explained, it was a short answer . . . but an answer nonetheless.

"With you?" he asked. Joey glared.

"No . . . with . . . well, nobody knows . . . I was just recently alerted of it myself." was his response. Valon scratched his head, and turned his attention to Mai.

"Well, what do you know?" he asked her. Mai rolled her eyes.

"Hi, my name is Mai Valentine. I have no family but I was almost engaged to a movie star! I guess he was possessive so I declined . . . which makes no sense, because if I would have said yes then I wouldn't be stuck here with you two idiots. Oh, and my favorite color is purple." it was a harsh explanation.

"Well what do you want to know?" Valon asked. Mai perked up.

"Everything, like did you know me from my childhood . . . or what . . . I mean . . . everything." and it was a babbled up answer, but in her mind, there was so much to know.

"Well, I met you a few years ago . . . " Valon started to say, but for some reason, someone pulled him away from the table and out on the sidewalk.

"No." it was Joey and his voice was firm.

"What?" Valon asked, shaking his arm free.

"I can't let you tell her . . . not yet . . . not now."

"Excuse you?" Valon was shocked, because he didn't see why Joey wouldn't let him tell Mai about . . . them.

"She's not ready, to know, about what you did to her." Joey whispered. Valon laughed bitterly.

"About what I did? I didn't do anything, I told you then, I'm telling you now . . . Mai did everything out of her own free will. She joined us. Nobody forced her." Valon retorted, and he was angry at Joey.

"Please, I know what happened . . . and so do you." It was a fierce statement, but to Joey's surprise, Valon shook his head.

"Yeah, her friends left her . . . you left her, and I . . . me . . . put her back together."

"No. You made it worse . . . you . . . "

"Joey, before you lay this whole guilt trip thing on me, think . . . when I found her . . . you weren't there, to see her . . . to see what she had become, and maybe I shouldn't have taken her to Dartz . . . and I realize now that he was crazy, but I did what I though was right . . . to save her . . . and you know what, I'd do it again, in a heartbeat . . . if I thought for a second . . . "

"Shut up." his voice was firm, unusually firm for Joey. Valon stared.

"What? Can't you take it? I know what we did . . . I got over it."

"Stealing people's souls isn't something you just get over."

"No, but it just didn't happen? Did it?"

Joey stared at him, anger pulsing through his veins. He didn't know what to say, because Valon didn't get it, probably didn't want to.

It wasn't as easy as Valon made it sound, because this was Mai, but it wasn't.

It was somebody totally different and new . . . and this was such a huge . . . thing . . . to tell somebody so soon.

Joey glanced toward his table, and frowned.

"Where'd she go?"


	6. A Truthful Disaster

**A short addition! Sorry for the wait!**

* * *

Sweaty palms touched a marble countertop, leaving temporary prints along the swirled blues and whites of the material.

Her head rose, glanced toward the mirror and sunk again.

She sighed. A perfect image. Beautiful blonde hair, perfect in every way. Huge glistening eyes, the window to her soul. Or so experts say.

But who was she? What was perfection anyway? What did people see when they looked at her? Was she a cold blooded murderer?

Stealing souls had to be the same as murder, she figured.

Was she responsible for taking someone's life? Did her fingers pull a trigger? Was her life about the feel of heavy metal in her hands?

No, the concept of a gun just doesn't feel right. Her gut tells her no. But then again, her gut somewhat assured her that she would come to find out that she was a decent person.

Not a murderer.

It's just not, well it's not right.

She wanted to cry and yell and scream and puke all at the same time. Instead she stood, feet planted on the ground, starting at a perfect looking woman in the bathroom mirror.

She really wanted to break the mirror. She wanted to punch it, until blood ran down her fingers and shards fell onto the floor, until she couldn't gaze at this person, this lie, anymore.

By the time Joey returned, Mai had taken to sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall between the bedroom and the bathroom.

She glared at him. Anger rose within her. How she hated him for not telling her the truth. And yet, at the same time, she wanted to cry on his shoulder. She was scared.

Joey seemed to be in a calm demeanor. He stood by the front door, staring at her. He didn't move or talk, he just stood.

Mai opened her mouth, determined to say something, closed it, opened it and closed it again. She then stood up, marched toward her room and slammed the door.

Joey never moved.

A few seconds later, she reemerged.

"When were you going to tell me?" Her voice lacked emotion. She had no energy left to yell or scream. She just wanted to know the truth.

"I, I don't know." he whispered.

"Coward!" The yelling began. All the anger that she tried to keep down somehow forced it's way up and out.

He looked at her, wanting to retaliate, but instead said nothing.

"Here I am, thinking that you are some guy who wants to help me, but no. You just, and then, a murderer? What does stealing someone's soul even mean? I don't understand. Aren't they the same? How could I . . . and you acting like, like it's no big deal." Her sentences didn't make sense. Nothing did.

Her head was pounding and too many thoughts ran through her. She wanted to say so much, but didn't know how.

"It's complicated to explain. But you have to know that you are a good person." He pleaded, he had to make her believe it.

"A good person? A good person doesn't kill people!" Tears rolled down her face, splattering onto the floor.

"Mai calm down."

"Calm down? Calm down? How in the Hell am I supposed to calm down?" She couldn't stop crying, and quite frankly, she didn't want too. It felt good, to let everything out. To throw everything she was feeling out, to let him know.

Joey hated seeing her cry. But he didn't know how to stop it. It being the pain and the anger and agony he knew she was feeling. So he started talking.

"Soul stealing was done after a duel, with cards. You were a duelist, a great duelist. Powerful, precise, at one with your cards. But something happened . . . someone let you down once. I let you down once. And you got mixed up with the wrong crowd."

He was losing his voice.

"And then you were this different person. This person bent on power. That's all you wanted, was power. You met up with Valon and he took you to this freaky Dartz guy . . . and I don't know what he did to you. But it changed you. Made you weak, no matter what you thought."

"And I wanted to help you, during that first duel. I tried so hard to help you, but Valon got there first. He saved you Mai, you understand? Because when you dueled with the Orichalcos and lost, then the loser's soul was taken . . ."

He didn't want to talk anymore. He really wanted to go back in time and talk about sunglasses.

"So, I joined this evil group of cult-like people and began stealing souls? Whose soul did I steal?" she asked, curiously.

"Mine."

Joey usually is known for talking, but he doesn't think he's ever said anything more important than that one word.

She looked at him, mouth wide open. Her head continued to pound. Him? She killed him? Well, stole his soul at least. But he was here, looking at her, pleading with her, trying to help her.

This was way too much.

The room started spinning. Her chest felt like someone grabbed the inside and refused to let go. She couldn't breath, couldn't see, and couldn't speak. Her legs became weak and everything became surreal.

She fell to the floor, giving into the darkness that surrounded the corners of her mind.

Her eyelids felt heavy. She finally pushed them open to see a blurry room. She blinked a few times. Everything slowly came into focus. The clock blinked midnight.

Soft snoring came from the corner of the room. Joey had fell asleep on some old green armchair.

Mai pushed herself up. The noise of the blankets moving startled Joey, who turned to see her.

"How long have you been up?" He asked sheepishly. Redness crept into his cheeks. How could he have fallen asleep? It was only . . . a few hours.

"I just, um, got up."

"Do you need anything?" He was relieved that she had just woken up.

"Um, something to drink, water or um vodka." She murmured the last part. Her head hurt badly enough, she really didn't need anything else to make it worse.

She figured Joey nodded, she didn't look at him. Couldn't look at him. Not yet anyway.

Mai finally understood the saying, "be careful what you wish for". This is what she wanted, the truth. She never thought she wouldn't be able to handle it.

Ringing came from the living room area. It wasn't her place to answer the phone, and honestly she really didn't feel like talking to anybody right now.

A machine kicked on, saying something about the current resident not being present at the moment, followed by the voice of young sounding boy.

"Hey Joey, its Yugi. We haven't heard from you in a while. We all just wanted to make sure you were okay and that your mom was too. Call me back at anytime. I just realized that it might be a really late time over there; sorry if this wakes you up. We all just want to tell you that we are all behind you. Bye."

The machine beeped off.

Yugi, what kind of name is that, Mai mused.

The door opened, and Joey returned carrying some sort of soda and bottled water.

"Here."

Mai nodded, opened the bottle, and fumbled around in her purse for the pain medication. Upon finding it, she quickly took what she needed and dropped the bottle back in her purse.

"Someone named, Yugi called for you." Mai stated.

Joey looked surprised, but concealed anything else.

"He was a good friend of yours." Joey said. Mai didn't reply.

She didn't want to hear about any friends she may or may not of had. Earlier that day, she was so afraid that she was some person, all alone in the world. Now, she figured she deserved it.

"Listen, I know it's hard, but we will get your memory back." Joey said, leaning against the doorway.

"Could you just leave?" Mai asked.

"I don't care who you think you were, I know that there was more to you than that person who got mixed up in the wrong crowd."

Mai shrugged. She couldn't believe it.

"I'll prove it to you. I'll find a way for you regain your memory back and everything will be better." He sounded as if he was trying to convince himself too.

A stuffy feeling filled the room. Mai wanted to open a window, jump out of it, and stop this pain that wouldn't leave her alone.

But she had no more tears to cry, nothing else to say.

"But what if I don't want to know?"


	7. Finding The Right Note

Meaningless Rant**- It's really difficult to write a character with a certain personality, as someone who has lost their memory. Mai is tricky! Haha, but the more she finds out, the more like herself she should become! (Does that make sense?) Basically what I'm saying is that Mai deals with things by, simply put, becoming bitchy. Or she goes crazy and steals souls..**

Note: **I've been having major writers block. Not that everyone needs or wants to hear my excuses, but still, it needed said. **

**Disclaimer**: Don't own it, but the song inspired me big time.

**  
Sometimes I cannot take this place.  
Sometimes it's my life I can't taste.  
Sometimes I cannot feel my face.  
You'll never see me fall from grace  
Something takes a part of me.  
You and I were meant to be.**  
-Freak On A Leash-

She didn't know which was louder: the rain pounding against the windowsill, Joey's unrhythmic snoring from the other bedroom, or the thoughts bouncing around in her head.

The clock read five. It was too early for someone like her.

She tried laying back down, tossing back and forth, hoping that she could somehow lull herself back to sleep. No such luck.

Mai sighed.

She moseyed over to the living room, sat on the couch and turned on the nearby light. The soft glow illuminated the coffee table, highlighting a magazine, small book, and some cards with odd designs. She stared at the table and almost reached for the glossy magazine that depicted pictures of the city. Instead she picked up the pile of cards.

"These must be those dueling cards." she mused aloud to herself.

She flipped through the deck, looking at the pictures, and continuing to the next card.

"I don't get it." She threw the cards on the table, dropping one on the floor.

Absentmindedly she picked up the card and placed it in her pocket. Then she picked up the small black book and started looking through it.

"Tea, Serenity," random names were read.

"Wonder if he's a player." she joked with herself. She doubted it. He just didn't seem like that type of person.

For some reason, the name Serenity had a familiarity to it. Mai closed her eyes and tried to think, tried to remember.

Nothing.

It was like having a melody stuck in her head. A melody to some song she didn't know the words too, and no matter how much she tried, the words escaped her.

It left her aggravated.

She knew that she shouldn't take out her bitter feelings toward Joey. But she couldn't help it. Whenever he was around, she felt nervous and upset. So she would explode and yell, scream and cry.

She didn't want to be this way. She certainly didn't understand why. It just felt natural. No matter what she told herself, it felt natural.

But that couldn't be it, she figured.

Why on Earth would he be friends with someone like her, if that's how she always was? Angry and high-strung.

She knew she wasn't good for him. Especially if . . .

"No."

She yelled at herself; she must be going crazy. Even so, she wouldn't let herself, couldn't let herself, think about what Joey said.

She sighed again, for what felt like the hundredth time.

The pounding in her head started to reside a bit, but it was still present. She dropped the book and gazed out the window. It was before sunrise, but Mai doubted anyone would see the sun today.

She glanced toward Joey's door.

Mai wanted to be thankful. She wanted to be happy, but couldn't. Not now. She was killing him slowly. Again.

Hurting him, taking every thing he tried to do and throwing it in his face, because she was weak.

Mai figured that Joey must care about her, or did at one point. He came when there was nobody else, and he kept trying. She couldn't let him anymore.

He was in pain, it was undeniable.

Her eyes found the main door. A urge to run overcame her. She wanted to listen to it. To run until she couldn't run anymore. To start over as someone new, who didn't go crazy and try to kill their potential friends.

Could she really just start over? With no clue to who she was?

Her feet started to move before she realized what she was doing. A million reasons told her to run. Most of them were based on fear.

One reason told her to stay.

Because he stayed.

That wasn't enough for her. She twisted the doorknob and walked away. Away from who she was, or who she might have been.

She walked quickly, as if she was trying to dodge the raindrops.

She almost immediately regretted her decision, leaving Joey alone and clueless.

Mai could turn back, run into the hotel, jump into the shower, and claim the dampness came from an early morning shower.

But she didn't. She kept walking.

If only she had some clue to where she was going.

Something caught her eye. A restaurant, filled with a few people. But that's not was surprised her.

It was the person sitting in the restaurant.

She walked in and took a seat.

"Valon, right?" she asked. He nodded, trying to hide his gleeful expression.

Maybe this was a weird twist of fate, she figured. Leaving Joey and finding him.

"Where's Joey?" Valon asked, half serious, half jealous.

"I, uh, had to get away for a bit." It was the truth. She couldn't be expected to look at him after what she did.

Valon nodded.

"I'm glad you found me."

Mai gazed at him. Really gazed at him. There was something about him, perhaps his aura or his eyes, but something about him made her want to trust him.

Not that she didn't trust Joey. This feeling was just different.

"You okay?" A serious question. She wished his eyes weren't so penetrating.

A bitter laugh escaped her lips. No she wasn't okay. She wished she was, but wishing didn't do any good.

"I just . . . " she couldn't finish. The urge to cry overcame her again, but she pushed it down.

"I need to know, what you saw in me?" Because she needed to know. Mai figured she was this horrible person, with no good in her. Why would anybody want someone like her?

"I thought you were beautiful."

She raised an eyebrow and laughed. That was it? Beautiful? She already knew that. Maybe this was a waste of time.

"That's it? Because I'm hot?" she asked.

"No. You are. But that's not it. I saw potential and pain. And that moment I met you, you were broken. Alone. Raw, that was you. No defenses, no shields, you. And I thought you were beautiful. You were just like me, and I knew you. Because we were alike, we were one."

"Am I like you now? Still?" was all she could muster.

"No, you're better." he whimpered. She was, in his opinion. She was able to break Dartz's control, giving her more power than either of them ever thought possible.

"Why does it matter?" he asked her, clearing his voice.

"It just, I have to know who I am. Or was. I can't keep waking up every morning thinking I was something I wasn't."

"The past is the past Mai, you can't change that."

He had a point, even though she hated to admit it.

"Why don't you just start over? Be a new person?"

She couldn't do that. Could she? Just be someone new.

"Maybe, that losing your memory was a sign. A sign for you to start over and become someone new."

He wouldn't stop talking.

"I couldn't do that." It was a crazy idea, even to her ears.

"Why not? Mai, you don't know, but you spent so much time trying to run away from your past. Ultimately, that's what caused so many of your problems. I could help you, become someone new . . . someplace else."

"Someplace better, warmer. Like an island. Think about it. You have the chance to up and leave and go anywhere you want. That could include islands with long beaches, shady palm trees and the ocean."

For a second, she wanted to believe he was right. She wanted to be someone new, who's only problem in life would be which cabana boy to hire.

"It's a nice fantasy. But I could never do it."

Valon sighed. He thought he had her. She would have been better off, ignoring whatever it was that told her to keep prying.

He wanted to continue asking her why. He thought that maybe he could get through to her.

Somewhere deep inside of him knew better. Somewhere that hasn't sparked any interest in any of his life for the longest time. He wonders if it's his conscious. Maybe it's his common sense. He doesn't know.

"I need to know about dueling." Her voice snapped him out of his trance.

"Dueling?"

A sigh. Why did she have to ask? He would have preferred her jumping into his arms. Letting her tears flow down her face onto his jacket. Something absolutely corny like that, he could have handled. Wanted to handle.

Because then, she would run away with him. A crazy notion that they sometimes joked about. Mostly he would joke, and she would nod, half sullen, half Hellbent on destroying Joey.

The name should make his blood boil. But it doesn't. For some crazy reason, that Valon isn't ready to realize, they have this unspoken mutual respect.

"Valon?"

Another snap back to reality.

"What do you want to know? It's kind of complex."

She sighed.

"How so? Isn't it just a bunch of stupid cards?" Something jabbed her leg. She remembered the card from earlier. She placed it on the table.

"Okay, what's so complex about this? It's just a weird clock thing."

The card seemed old, due to the faded color and bent edges, signifying one to many duels.

"Dueling is more than a game. It's about the passion, the meaning, the strategy. Each duelist has a different way of dueling, of winning." Valon quickly explained.

"Wow, that was helpful."

An eye-roll. How could someone feel so passionate about a piece of paper? She examined the card. Nothing.

"I never saw you play that card." Valon noted.

She threw it back on the table.

"It's stupid, this whole dueling thing! This, this piece of paper is what caused me to kill people? What on Earth could be so great about this!" Her merger voice rose with each syllable.

"You never killed anyone." Valon replied seriously.

"Stole souls, it sounds the same. If someone doesn't have a soul, aren't they dead?"

Valon choked.

"No, that wasn't, no."

Mai didn't feel anymore confident.

"Because of this. People died." She held the card in the air, frowning at it.

"People lost their souls Mai, but they didn't die. They were still alive, breathing. But they just lost their essence, their personality, their will. Technically, we took away who they were, what they were. But never their life."

"How is that any better?" Mai was bitter.

Valon shrugged.

"It's not. We messed up. But that's all fixed. Everyone is better." was the best response he could come up with.

"Fixed? Better? Valon, I just about killed Joey. And he's there, helping me and talking to me and there's all this pain. And worry. It's not better, it can't be better." Her eyes filled with water, tears, again. She sighed.

There was no way she was going to let herself cry, again.

He was speechless, which he admitted to himself, was rare.

"It's always about Wheeler."

Several long minutes of nothing, and that was all he could murmur.

"Excuse me?" Mai questioned.

"Nothing. It's just that, well, it's always about Joey. Everything. One day you like him, one day you want to kill him, one day you cry over him, and you always end up coming to me. I don't even like Wheeler."

He sounded upset, but Mai couldn't tell.

"You should go to him. He can help you more than I can."

His chair clattered against the table. Mai frowned. Was he really walking out on her? When she needed him?

She held the card loosely between her fingers, guarding it from the rain, as she chased Valon down one sidewalk and up another.

She grabbed his arm.

"What do you even mean? Didn't you want to help me?"

Valon frowned, and wiggled his arm from her light grip.

"More than anything. But ever since I've known you, your issues have always revolved around Joey. He was first and better, and I just . . . I can't compete. I can't keep throwing my heart out to you, for you to use it for a while, then return it to me because Wheeler came calling."

She gasped.

"I don't even know what you're talking about!" It was a plea, they both knew it. What they didn't know what was the purpose of the plea.

Valon grabbed her arms. He turned her so she was facing him, only him.

"You'll know what I mean when Wheeler saves you. Because he will, and he can Mai. Don't follow me, you owe him that. You owe yourself that." Valon was chocking. He could feel the tears pushing themselves over his eyelashes.

"You're leaving." Her memory was gone, but Mai wasn't stupid. She pushed herself away from him.

He called a cab, frowning and crying the whole time. Avoiding her gaze, like she was making it hard for him.

He was supposed to help her, after all he was her partner in crime. She didn't even remember him, and his leaving made her insides want to come out.

The cab drove off, his head looking through the window, at one last glimpse of the pitiful Mai Valentine. She sniffled, and let the tears roll freely. She didn't care who saw.

Mai knew she had to return to Joey. She just didn't know how. How she was supposed to carry on, how she was supposed to look at him.

The card fell to the ground, making a small splashes as it hit the puddled sidewalk.

Mai picked it up, and looked at it. It was a clock, thing.

It was Joey's clock thing, card thing.

And Joey was the first something. Whatever he was, Valon felt insignificant when compared to him.

She sighed. She could feel her curls limp against her face, and knew that once the rain stopped, frizz would overtake her head. This fact led to her walking back toward the hotel.

Joey, on the other hand, decided that only a fool would leave anywhere warm and go outside. The rain looked bad to him.

He hoped that the weather wasn't some indication or hidden symbol about the events that kept happening. He always hated trying to pick out symbols in anything.

Mai's door was closed, and he figured she was still freaked out from last night. Or this morning. The past few hours were just one giant blur to Joey.

He sat on the couch, gazing at the table. Something seemed off; different even.

He shook his head, it was probably just his mind going crazy. It was about time anyway, he figured.

He heard a creak and he jumped.

The main door opened, and Mai stood on the outside. She was drenched. Mascara stains covered her checks, and her hair . . . well Joey didn't have words for that.

He didn't have words for anything. Okay, he lied. He did have words, and they were angry ones full of desperation and every other negative emotion he could muster.

But he didn't speak or yell or cry, he stood.

He wanted to yell at her. Scream at her for leaving, and not even having the decency to tell him. He was trying to help her, and this is how she treated him; he figured he would yell.

Instead he glared at her madly. He wanted to be down with this. This being the whole concept of saving her and helping her and not getting anything in return.

She looked back at him, but met his angry gaze with a lost one. She didn't share any of his current emotions, but wasn't surprised that they were there.

"Joey." It was a start, short and to the point, but lacking the traditional confidence she had.

He nodded, he wasn't going to respond to her. Not now. And even though he knew he was being selfish, he didn't care.

"You beat me with this card."

She held it up, damp and torn and old. But to him it was beautiful.

"You were the first person to ever beat me, and you did it with this card."

And for five seconds, Joey really wanted to kiss her.


	8. Darkness And Light

**It's been a while, and I dunno if anyone is even reading, but here it is. Thank John Mayer.**

**Oh I'll never know what makes this man  
With all the love that his heart can stand  
Dreams of ways to throw it all away  
Oh gravity is working against me  
And gravity wants to bring me down**

**_Gravity- John Mayer_**

He gazed at her. The card fell from her fingers to the floor. There was so much more that he wanted to say. That he should have said. But she walked past him.

She needed to shower. To feel the hot water run down her body. Her tears needed to blend with the water. She required those precious five minutes of solitude. Valon was gone. And all over again, she felt some part of her was missing. Something was empty.

Joey was eagerly awaiting her return, bouncing back and forth on his heels. He was too nervous to sit down, yet too surprised to move elsewhere. He stared at the card which was wet and slightly torn on the hotel carpet.

She coughed to announce her presence. Her hair was damp and limp, but her mascara was fixed, making her appear less of a mess.

"How'd you figure it out?" His question broke the silence.

She didn't answer. She owed him that. Valon said so.

"I just, um, took a walk." It lacked her usual spunk.

The couch looked so inviting, she sat and he . . followed.

A cushion was between them.

"Do you remember more?"

She closed her eyes.

She could see the battlefield. The sun in the air, the warm brush of wind that swept past her, the rush of energy as she pulled the right card. Yet she also remembered the loss. The defeat by him. The anger that arose within her.

"You weren't good." She spoke out loud.

"You were lying. You weren't for real. If you remember."

She did. She also saw other people, near them. But she could not make them out. Their faces were . . . faceless. The only person she saw was Joey.

"Is that when we met?"

"No." He laughed. "We met on a boat. But you weren't worried about me one bit. You wanted to meet the famous Yugi."

Nothing ignited within her.

"But it was our first duel." He added.

Mai nodded, more to herself than him. Valon said Joey was her first. Her first loss. But what else? He was the one who saved her. Who continued to save her. But it did not make sense.

Nothing did.

Her head throbbed.

"I wish I . . . I wish I knew." She started to say.

"I should have told you. I just didn't know how." His head dropped and he tried to look everywhere but at her.

He wanted to tell her. To tell her how it was all a mistake. To tell her that he did save her. Once. Twice actually. That he should not have let her alone. That this was his fault. And that he would save her again. He wanted to tell her that it didn't matter what happened then, because he missed her.

He missed how she was. Before Dartz and Marik. He missed how they were.

But all he could do was sigh.

Mai was starting to hate silence.

She tried to press her brain for something, anything else. Some sordid detail, some betrayal, some pleasurable experience. But all she had was a memory of a loss and the knowledge that at some point she teamed up with Valon and stole souls. Joey's soul.

"Joey." Her voice was soft. A rare tone, one that was hardly heard by anyone, let alone Joey Wheeler.

"Yeah."

"I saw Valon. He, he said that you were my first something. And it clicked. With the card."

Joey nodded. Always in competition with Valon. The name made his stomach tie up in knots and his fingers curl into his palms making sweaty fists.

"He, he was the person I went, um evil with."

Joey nodded.

"And he left. He's gone. He took a cab and left. He said you could save me."

Joey went to retort, but she shook her head.

"No matter what he says, it seems to me that stealing people's souls is . . . I'm evil. And what if you somehow put me back together and that's all I've ever be? I thought that being alone was the worst thing that could happen. But deserving the punishment of being alone is even worse." She became quiet.

"Mai . . . "

"I don't know if I want to know anymore." She finished. She stood up, sighed and looked at Joey for some sort of response.

"You can't ignore who you were." He stated.

She rolled her eyes.

"Why not?" The question came out meaner than she had meant. He stood, blocking her way.

"You can't know where you are going, until you know where you've been." He learned this, through his adventures with Yugi.

"Well you sound like a fortune cookie." She snapped. She tried to make a motion toward her bedroom door, but he blocked her way.

"Mai I get why you are afraid, but you've got to do this. We've got to do this." He pleaded.

"No. Unless you know why I did what I did or what caused it or . . . you just don't know. I can feel the darkness inside. I can't . . . if I give myself up to it I might lose control again. I just, maybe this whole losing my mind thing is a sign. To start over. New. Now get out of my way."

She pushed him onto the couch and slammed the bedroom door behind her.

And for a second, he thought he had her back.

Tears welded up in his eyes. But he didn't let them flow. He couldn't. Not yet.

"Why do we always end up fighting?" He asked to nobody.

He walked to his bedroom, sat on the bed and looked at the phone. He didn't want to admit defeat. But he couldn't do this by himself.

The phone was light in Joey's hand and the ringing noise seemed to last for decades. A somewhat sleepy voice answered with a "hi".

"Hey Yug, it's Joey."

"Joey! How are you? How's your mom? What's going on?" A million questions rushed through the phone, each syllable becoming more articulate as Yugi awoke.

Yet there were to many questions. Truthfully Joey was awful. Defeated.

"It's, it's not my mom Yugi." He said. He could feel his eyes fill with tears.

"Oh. Well then who was it? Or was it a mistake? Are you going to come back now?" Yugi was curious, Joey knew he would be.

"It's Mai, Yugi. That's who it is."

Suddenly there was silence.

"Yug are you there?" Joey asked. His voice sounded tired.

"Yeah, I just. Are you okay? Is she okay?" Yugi sounded like he didn't know what to say, or what to ask. But somehow, someway, Yugi always knew.

"It's, she doesn't remember anything. At all. It's just like before. Exactly like before. I lost her Yugi. Again. I can see it in her eyes, when she looks at me. I'm losing her more and more everyday. And I just can't. I don't have it in me to lose her again."

Joey always considered himself a strong man. His sister, his best friend and Mai seemed to be the only people alive to make his cry.

"You won't lose her Joey." Yugi began slowly.

"I know you. You won't give up. Ever. Because she's your friend. And I'm your friend. And I believe in you."

Joey nodded. He knew Yugi couldn't see, but he did it anyway. He needed to hear from Yugi that he could do this.

"Is there something I can do? Do you need me to come over there?" Yugi asked.

And Joey knew he would too. He knew if he said so, Yugi, Tristan, Tea and Serenity would board the next flight and be there to help him. To help her.

But he couldn't ask them to do that.

"No. I'll call you later. But thanks." Joey hung up the phone and went to knock on Mai's door.

She mumbled something that sounded like a invitation. She was sitting on her bed, hunched over, with her head in her hands, trying with great difficulty to not cry or throw up. She wasn't sure which.

He sat beside her, unsure of his next move. There was something about her that always made him unsure.

"I'm sorry for the yelling." She mumbled. He knew she was. That's how they operated. They fought and laughed and teased each other. But they also saved each other.

"I know that you think you were some horrible person. And I'll admit, you did screw up. But only because your friends weren't there when you needed them. But you are good. Everyone has darkness in them. Everyone feels pain, feels alone. But everyone also has goodness in them. Everyone has light. You lost sight of that. And I let you."

She stared at him.

He seemed so genuine.

"Um Mai?" He asked. Her stare gazed over. Her view of him became blurry.

_It was unreal. She could feel the cold chains against her wrists. She was too weak to fight it, too stubborn to admit defeat. _

_She could hear voices in the background. yelling at her. But they were unclear. And disappearing. And before she knew it, she was in darkness. Everywhere there was darkness. She was alone._

_She wondered around, hoping for somebody, anybody. And then, after what felt like age, there was a light. And it was warm, and good. _

"Mai?" Joey asked again, with more force.

"I lost that duel." She mumbled. Joey looked at her confused.

"And I was alone. And there were chains. And . . . " She stumbled for words. It was a beginning of a memory. The desperation she felt then clung to her now. She looked up at Joey, as if realizing he was there for the first time.

"Keep thinking." He said.

"I can't. I can't go back there."

"Mai, I know it's hard, but you have too."

"I was so lost, and alone. And everything hurt, please don't make me revisit there again, don't make me do it."

Joey studied her. He wouldn't make her. He couldn't cause her pain.

"You're not alone. I'm here." He whispered.

She looked confused, as if he was intruding on a conversation she was having with herself. She collapsed against Joey shoulder, trying her best not cry. He put his arm around her, unsure of what to do.

Minutes passed as a uncomfortable silence devoured the room. Mai sniffled and sat up, avoiding Joey's stare.

"You saved my sister once." He started.

She looked at him, intrigued, confused.

"We, well a whole bunch of us . . . were in this tournament. The prize was a whole lot of money. She needed a very expensive eye surgery. So I entered, with Yugi. And you were right, I was bad. He had to coach me. But I learned quick. So we got to the finals. Where you helped Yugi get in. You dueled Tea and lost, giving Yugi the starchips he needed. But anyway, we all had these prize cards."

He continued.

"These prize cards well, you had to have them. And you lost your duel and gave me your money card when mine was lost. So that I could save my sister."

Her eyes met his.

"I helped you?"

"Yeah." He chuckled. "You thought that it uh sounded like a soap opera."

"All of this sounds like a soap opera. I'm kind of waiting for someone to yell cut and bring me coffee and donuts while taking me to my trailer. Which I guess would be purple." Her response was somewhat humerous, but overall lacking any inflation.

He wanted to show her that she was good. To prove to her that somewhere under the confusion and pain, was someone worth saving. Because she was.

"It's a lot to take in." She added.

He knew. If only she had found out about the whole Dartz fiasco a different way. Although he's not sure there is a way to make it seem positive. But her reaction was one that he felt showed that there was decency in her. She was upset by her actions, guilty from them. The guilt, he figured, was eating her up inside. It was written on her face, but the way her eyes kept searching the room for something, anything that made sense.

She mentioned something about being hungry. He was in agreement.

The mid-afternoon sun was hidden behind layers of clouds. Joey feared rain was soon to come. Thunder sounded making a small child they passed in the journey from the hotel to the corner restaurant cry.

There seemed to be some kind of traffic jam, as cars beeped and honked while the drivers yelled profanities out of their windows.

Mai seemed amazed by it all.

Suddenly Mai's hand reached out to clasp onto Joey's arm, stopping his brisk pace.

Screeching tires were heard and the smell of burnt rubber reached Joey's nose. Apparently a car had not stopped in time, and ran right into another car which seemed to cause a domino reaction. People were screaming and the original car had caught on fire.

Joey made a motion to help, but Mai wouldn't let go.

"Mai?" He asked.

No response.

He looked at her again. Her eyes had become watery and her grip had tightened. Joey felt the need to help the people that were surely injured, but Mai wouldn't let go.

"Mai!" This time his voice became harsh.

It was like she wasn't even there with him. She seemed lost and stuck. It was as if she was a doll that was supposed to talk, but was missing her batteries.

"Mai!" He screamed.

Nothing.


	9. The Sun, Stars And Iced Tea

**Note: **I may just finish this story this much. This chapter bugged me until I had to write it. Thank you Coldplay.

**When it _started_ we were alright  
But _night_ makes a fool  
Of us in the daylight  
**_Yes-Coldplay_

_  
_It was funny.

Not ha-ha funny. Or even a loud chuckle type of funny.

It was the type of funny that Mai recalled learning in school before her interests had turned to boys and make-up. Back when the chalkboard full of numbers and letters was fascinating and boys had cooties. She remembered the word, it rolled of her lips and fell to the pavement.

Irony.

The all too familiar feeling of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. The familiar smell of burnt rubber stinging her nostrils. The pieces of sharp glass that cut. Not deep enough to kill, but deep enough to scar. The sound of screaming, pain, panic that played in her ears like a forgotten lullaby. The blood that slid down her face. The blood that mixed with the dirt from the ground.

The ground.

Hard, cold, wet. Unforgiving. Harsh.

Home to the dirt. The dirt that caked onto her face like makeup, making pure ivory dark ash. Or maybe it was the running mascara that did that.

Joey's screams ran through her ears. She heard the tone of his voice waver up and down. She heard the despair, mixed with alarm.

Or maybe that was from a different time.

A time involving chains and monsters and bright lights. A time she never wants to see again.

She can see him. Not moving under her grasp. It's all too familiar.

Something tells her to let go of him. To let go. He needs to help those people. Has to help those people. Because it's Joey and when he's not starting trouble he's stopping it. But those people didn't ask him to help. She knows that they want him too.

Because who else will?

But her grasp stayed tight. Fingers turning white tight grasp.

He yelled to let go, he has to go. He questioned if she was okay.

She wondered if anybody is ever okay.

But doesn't let go.

Because her mind isn't done. Isn't done venturing back to a place similar to this one. With the two rows of restaurants and huge corner hotel. With the traffic jam (which of course wasn't a huge car pile-up).

But her mind wants to return back to the place with burnt rubber and caked on dirt foundation.

It was sunnier then.

_Work, she had discovered, was much more dreadful when one was stuck inside all day while a beautiful sun taunted anyone indoors._

_She hated that.  
_

_She liked her job. After all, being a photographer was not a difficult job. Look though the lens, click, next pose. _

_She liked that. Enjoyed it. _

_She had spent her time in front of the camera. Her vanity monster soothed, it was much more entertaining being behind the camera. Being in charge. Looking at people, beautiful people, finding people._

_She liked those times, those specific times, where something else was in her subject's eyes instead of the trademark glazed over supermodel look._

_Happiness, sadness, loneliness, despair. She could pick it out. Any emotion. Because she's been there. Is still there._

_Maybe that's why she moved behind the camera. Less vulnerability that way. But she's not a psychologist, so she doesn't linger on the issue. _

_Every five mintues or so her attention turned toward the sun, peeking it's way from behind a cloud. Playing hide and seek._

_Her time was almost done. Just a few more pictures and she was free. _

_Click. She sometimes heard that camera clicking sound in her dreams. Echoing through one ear and out the other. Click._

_She was done. _

_And without a moment to spare she left the office, said goodbye to the boss, and was standing outside with a smile on her face._

_The sun hit her giving her a warm feeling. One that becomes lost inside the office cubicles. _

_Now if only she had plans. Or a place to go. Or excitement._

_Not that she needed excitement. No, Mai was looking for anything but excitement. She figured the days of monsters and unspeakable evils sufficed her craving for excitment._

_But sometimes it lingered. The feeling of wanting more. More than a job and bills and other average tasks._

_Average._

_She walked toward her favorite restaurant. Italian food. She never cared for it before. But Valon thrived on it. And then she became quickly accustomed to it._

_"Best place here. Hell, maybe ever." He said to her once as he led her through the glass and gold doors._

_Days go, she figured._

_She sat near the bar, ordered the usual, and exchanged pleasantries with Brian, the bartender. An older man, who usually ended the evening hitting on her. But it was all in jest. He was older, widowed, but a nice guy. His abuse of the English language was something to be aware of, but Mai never corrected him like one customer had tried._

_Instead she sat and listened to his stories and he listened to some of her tamer ones. Ones that revolved around the days when she was a rising duelist, cheating her way to ultimate victory._

_He liked that._

_But, he admitted once, Mai had the look of someone who had seen too much, done too much, and knew a type of rebellion that he could never be attracted too._

_He liked country girls, the kind that sang off-key country music and loved building old trucks. He always said they had a type of innocence that city girls seem to lose so easily._

_Mai agreed silently. She was anything but innocent._

_But on this day, her attention was focused on watching the sun. The television made noise in the background, dull and uninteresting. _

_"And now onto dueling news." The newscaster said._

_Mai turned her head and gazed at the television._

_"We are here talking to the famous duelist Yugi Moto about his retirement." Mobs of people stood behind the reporter, cheering Yugi's name._

_The camera turned to him, eyes huge, smiling wide. Just like Yugi._

_Mai couldn't help but ignore the twinge upword movement of the corners of her lips. A smile. _

_He looked the same._

_"You know him?" Brian asked, his words jarring her out of memories long pushed away. _

_"Knew." Her reply, short and to the point. Like most answers to questions of her recent past._

_The camera moved toward the reporter. Her words were drowned out by the crowd. It then moved toward another figure. A taller one._

_Mai studied him for a moment._

_He seemed the same. Happy, thrilled to be on television. He was talking about something. Mai didn't care much. Just the sound of his voice did something to her._

_"Can we change the channel?" She asked. _

_Brian did so, ignoring the groan from a man three bar stools down._

_"Knew him too?" He asked. _

_"Yeah. Knew." The television was now showing a rerun of some baseball game, which seemed to appease the other customers. _

_"You can talk about it." _

_She knew that. She could, if she wanted too. But the words wouldn't come out right. And the memories were fuzzy. Out of reach. _

_He took her non-answer as a maybe and attended the man three seats down._

_"He's a duelist. Or was, if he retired."_

_Brain nodded, his hazel eyes scanning hers._

_"How'd you met him?" He asked, turning his attention toward her._

_The sun was taunting. Don't go back there, to that place of pain and darkness, it seemed to say._

_"Dueling. We were in the same tournament. But I didn't want to see him. He wasn't already a legend. His friend, Yugi, was the one on my radar. But Joey . . . he's the one I dueled. He's the one, the first person, to ever beat me."_

_She chuckled at the memory._

_"Oh, he was annoying though. And completely dependant on Yugi. But he did improve over time. And they were good people. Annoying people. But good people. Too good to be true I thought at the time."_

_"And then?" Brian asked._

_"Then I realized that these people who were so full of friendship and good and hope, boy did I think that they were full of crap, but they were genuine. They were for real. Probably the best group of people I've ever met. Funny how life happens. I never had help before, and there they were."_

_"And him?"_

_Mai wanted to stop. Needed to stop. But Brian had talked about Julia (his deceased beloved) one winter night. His voice was tender, and his eyes were lost in the memory of her. Mai had taken a picture. He was a heavier man, with grey hair and stubble. Hazel eyes that had seen better days. But at that moment, he looked beautiful to her._

_Perhaps that's why she kept talking._

_"Him. He, was full of himself. Cocky. But most guys are. He was just, annoying. But he was doing this dueling thing for his sister. To save her. And I thought it sounded like a soap opera. When his card was lost, the entrance card, he was defeated. His goal was defeated. So I helped him. Because although he was annoying and talked too much, he would do anything for her. Which was, I don't know. Sweet I guess."_

_Mai sipped her drink. _

_"I bumped into him several more times. Always with his playgroup. Always annoying. But less than before. Tolerable you know? Always trying to help out. It was, he was my first friend. For real. They all were."_

_"Were?"_

_She gulped._

_"There was this time, when I was in this tournament. I was dueling this guy. He was powerful. But I was already not focused. Because I let some stupid guy hurt my feelings. You know how long it had been since there was a person who could come close to doing that? Years."_

_He looked at her, silently begging for her to continue. He liked to hear about people, their struggles, their joys, their losses. It brought life together, made him know he wasn't alone._

_"And it was stupid. I was stupid. But something happened in that duel. He was powerful. He messed with my mind. Stripped me of my memories somehow. Everything around me started to slip away. I was chained to something, it's a bit dim now. But the terror is still fresh in my mind. I just remember being there, and Joey trying to help me. Trying to save me. But it was too late, and I was sent to this dark place."_

_She paused._

_"It was Hell there. I was alone, and weak. And I had never been subject to that much pain in my life. And the funny thing is. Is that I was stupid. Again. Because I thought it was real. It felt real. Being in the darkness. It felt like home. But he saved me. Again."_

_"I was happy to see him of course. Something was different. I was. When we split. Was that a mistake. One thing after another. Never being happy. Never being fulfilled. That place, Marik's voice, haunted me in my sleep. In my daydreams. I dueled, but lost my passion. Victories felt like losses. I felt lost."_

_The bar had emptied._

_The sun was setting, slipping from her grasp._

_She hadn't enjoyed it enough. _

_Her water was replaced with iced tea of the long island variety._

_"It was Joey who I felt betrayed . . . Joey who I wanted to talk too. Joey who I wanted to yell at. It was him. A constant presence in my mind."_

_"But all that time alone. Weak. Helpless. And I am not a woman who considers herself weak and helpless. But that's what I had become. But then I met him. Valon. We dueled. He was powerful. But with a different kind of power."_

_Brian didn't say anything, just let Mai become lost in her memories._

_"He took me to this man, Dartz. He gave me power. Made me strong. Took away my weaknesses. Took away my soul. I was operating, moving around. But I could only feel rage. Hate. Anger."_

_"Valon tried to make me happy. It wasn't his fault. I couldn't be happy. All I wanted to do was defeat Joey Wheeler."_

_Her voice became low. Her eyes became fixed on the mahogany counter-top._

_"But what does he do? He should have beat me. He should have taken my soul. But he didn't. That's Joey for you. Always trying to save Mai. Boy, did he try. He tried so hard . . . but . . . "_

_"I couldn't be saved. Didn't want to be saved. Wanted to be powerful. Didn't see how wrong I was. How bad. But . . . he took out Valon. And it hurt me. Somewhere inside. He had nothing left when I stepped in that circle. He tried . . . but."_

_She could feel tears burning down her cheeks._

_"It was too late. He brought me back, but I . . . I took his soul. His body fell and . . . oh how bad did I want him to open his eyes and yell at me. Tell me how stupid I was. How wrong. Anything. But he didn't. He was gone. I destroyed him. And it brought me back. Joey Wheeler seems to have the unfair job of saving me."_

_"I never asked him too. Never wanted him too. Or maybe I did. He was . . . my best friend. That's what I did to him. I tried to save him, of course, but I failed. Yugi didn't. I reawoke at Valon's place. Another guy who I happened to screw over. I left him a card, so he knew I was okay."_

_"But I never saw Joey again. Always wanted too. But I just. Not yet. Not until I'm better."_

_"You're not better?" Brian asked._

_Mai jolted. She felt warm inside. It must be the iced tea._

_"I just. There aren't words for that."_

_Brian stood speechless, waiting for her next move._

_"There I was. Alone in the world, faking happiness. And there he was. As happy as he could be with a sister who needed surgery. He had friends. He had family. He didn't need to help me. Shouldn't have helped me. Me. Who never helped people. Who never made the effort of caring. I never liked anyone, let alone loved anyone. But when Joey was lying there, I was ready to die to fix what I had done. And I don't know when the moment had happened. I can't pinpoint it. But I think I fell in love with him."_

_Her drink was empty. The room was spinning. Or maybe she was spinning. She couldn't tell._

_"Maybe you had better go home." Brian's voice floated to her ears._

_Was he there? She couldn't tell. Nothing felt real._

_She heard jingling. Felt a stiff hand grab her arm. Fingers slowly relax._

_"I'll take you home kiddo."_

_"I'm not a kid." Her words slurred._

_"Am I drunk?" She asked. Brian nodded. She couldn't tell._

_"It was the only way to hear the story. I'm sorry." _

_She was led to a car. She couldn't tell what kind. It had a sunroof. She looked through it. The stars were shining brightly, blurring together to make one giant light overlooking the city._

_"I wish I were different." She muttered. Brian turned to her and smiled._

_"Why would you say that? You are who you are. We can only do the best we can with who we are. Everyone is screwed up. Some worse, some not. But you're trying. Which is more than some people. I'd forgive you if I could. But it's not for me, so I won't." _

_His face blended with the lights. The lights that were in the sky. Which wasn't right. There was another light. Another car. Another story. She felt a jolt, heard a yell. The car opposite them, lost control. The driver was asleep. Mai couldn't see. Couldn't talk. _

_It felt like a dream. A vacation from her usuals. She was soaring through air. Flipping. Over and over. Brian wasn't talking. She missed his voice. She couldn't understand where it went.  
_

_And something hit from behind. She was loose. Alice through the looking glass type of flying. Tiny pieces everywhere. Every part of her. She couldn't see. Pain soared through her. Every inch. She saw a tree. _

_Her head crashed into the bark. The stars dimmed. Someone yelled her name. Everything was dark. Darker._

_"Mai?" _

"Mai?"

She gasped, looking at Joey who had somehow worked his way from her grasp and had helped people. He was covered in black, oil maybe.

Her head was pounding.

The smell was too much.

The memory was too much. Everything was too much. Bouncing back and fourth through her head like a ping-pong ball.

She couldn't see.

Everything came rushing back, like some movie she was watching.

That one time she fell when she was nine, her first kiss behind the school lockers, her first duel, that time she met Yugi, Joey saving her over and over and her joining Dartz. More came to her with each breath.

Who she was, how she was . . . the pounding became worse.

Her eyes met his. She needed words, needed something.

"I remember everything."


	10. Illusions and Piers

**I do believe it's true  
That there are roads left in both of our shoes  
If the silence takes you  
Then I hope it takes me too  
So brown eyes I hold you near  
Cause you're the only song I want to hear  
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere**  
_Soul Meets Body: Death Cab For Cutie_

She had, apparently, fainted. This was her conclusion. She blinked twice, adjusting to the dull florescent lights in the hospital. Her head hurt. Her body followed suit. The smell of burnt rubber stayed in her nose, as a reminder of what had happened prior to waking up in another unfamiliar bed.

Joey was sitting in a old armchair near her, the small tapping on his left foot echoed throughout the room. This drew her attention toward him. His gaze became fixed upon her. Silence. No screams of anger or happiness.

Just silence.

How she wanted to yell, cry, or scream. She realized yelling and screaming could very well involve crying so performing all three was a possibility.

Still silence.

There were too many words. Too many memories mixed in her head like the iced tea had been. The mixture was done so well that the alcohol was unrecognizable. She could not pick out one specific ingredient from another. Such was her memories.

"You passed out on the sidewalk. I got you here as soon as I could." He explained. His clothes were tattered, stained in oil. It had been apparent to her that he had tried to help others in the car accident. That was Joey, always helping people.

She could tell he wanted to say something. He had that look, the one where his nose became scrunched up and his lower lip disappeared underneath his front two teeth. She had wondered when she had learned what his facial expressions meant.

"I still remember." It was a small whisper, followed by a gulp.

He sighed, one of relief.

His shoulders dropped. His chest was pushed out slightly. He had looked almost comfortable standing there watching her.

He pulled the chair beside the bed. Instead of talking, his extended one hand and lightly held hers. She only looked at him, not grabbing back.

She knew sorry would not fix it. She was not sure what would. If she ever could, she figured, was a more plausible question.

"I'm glad you're okay."

He had to break the silence.

"We know I'm not okay." Her reply was curt, honest at the very least. He returned to biting his lower lip.

"I don't even know what to say." It was the truth. Words and sentences did not seem to want to automatically construct themselves, much to her dismay.

"What does your heart say?" He asked. It was such a Joey question to ask, she figured. She briefly wondered if he had been that way before meeting Yugi. She decided not. Her mind moved to other things. She did not really know Joey that well. It was always about her, saving her, making sure she is okay. Joey, she thought, was always very unselfish.

"I want to apologize. For everything." There was a silence in the air, one full of lost memories and emotions, one that capsized the whole room. It made her heart heavy and she wondered if it could literally break.

"But I can't. There isn't a way too. That's why I ran. That's why I keep running. Always running." She followed by nervous laughter, which was followed by tears. Mai hadn't cried so much in a long time. She couldn't hold it back anymore, and she wondered where all of the tears had come from.

She was always one for running. She did not want to do this, talk to him about this. _This_ being everything. She wanted to run. When she was younger, and much stronger than now, she used to lace up her sneakers, pull her hair into a ponytail and run. She'd go until she practically collapsed on the side of the road. Of course someone who worked for her parents would always end up following her. Not like her parents had time to care. They only had time to pay someone to regulate her.

She always dreamed of being free, but wasn't sure what freedom she dreamed of. When she was dueling, she felt power. She felt force. She was in charge of her fate. She figured now that what she thought was freedom wasn't.

Maybe freedom was leaving life up to chance.

She could feel arms around her, but it was not registering. Joey had pulled her into a awkward embrace, and she was crying more that she had ever done.

She knew if she apologized right now, he would accept it. That was the beauty of Joey.

He seemed to almost love her.

But she knew she couldn't be loved. There wasn't enough left of her. She was a puzzle, with pieces lying on the floor. She had to pull herself together, one piece at a time.

So she didn't say anything.

Once the tears stopped, she had realized that her hand had a strong grip on Joey's and he was sitting on the bed.

"Mai." He started to say.

"Joey, I want to thank you. I never, I just, nobody has ever cared for me the way you do. And it just, it allows me to believe in people again. Hell, maybe I can believe in myself again."

"But?" He knew there was a catch. This epiphany had come on too fast, too strong.

"You can't be here. You have family and friends that care about you. It's not fair to them. It's not fair to you."

"I care about you." He argued, hardly raising his voice. He knew she knew.

"Before I crashed, I was with someone. I need to make sure he's okay." It was short. To the point.

"He?" It was a small whisper.

"My friend, older guy. Um, bartender." She responded, unsure of his reaction. He only nodded, mostly to himself.

"So this is you trying to tell me to leave. Giving me the clear to go. The un-guilty way out." He observed. He did not want to leave, couldn't force himself to go. Instead of saying this, he only made up words, ones he hoped she could read between.

"I really don't know when we will get this right."

"When is better then if." Joey pointed out. A small smile crossed Mai's face at Joey's optimism. She wondered when he had developed it.

The next few hours were tedious ones full of paperwork, checking out of the hospital, catching a taxi and going to Mai's small apartment. All in silence.

Upon arriving, Mai went to her room to throw her purse on the bed and check her messages. Many were from work wondering where on Earth she had went and why hadn't she called. They needed her for some account and wanted her back immediately.

While she disappeared, Joey looked around. Her apartment, he decided, lacked her essence. It was bare, white walls, gray carpet. The fridge was basically empty (for he was exceptionally hungry). She had a small television, but no movies underneath it. He hadn't pictured her as the movie type anyway.

His eyes traveled to a small stand, and on it were only a few pictures. One of what he only guessed was her and her family when she was very young. She had that painted smile on, the one where her eyes are glazed over but she displays all of her teeth perfectly. He didn't know when he discovered what her different facial expressions meant.

Another was of her and Dartz's gang. She hadn't looked happy, sprawling out on a beach. She looked, empty. The others all held smiles, but Joey wasn't sure if they were genuine or not.

A different picture was of all of the duelists in Kaiba's tournament. Mokuba was included. Joey saw himself, standing next to Yugi. Mai, on the other hand, was in the other side of the crowd. She looked serious, almost mirroring Kaiba.

Joey's attention soon faded and he walked toward her bedroom. Mai was lying on her bed, staring at the small dots in the ceiling.

He only stood in the doorway, staring at her.

"I haven't finished counting them yet." Her voice sounded bored. He looked up, he figured there were thousands of dots. He figured Mai didn't sleep much.

"My head hurts." She added.

"That can happen after head trauma." He tried to sound clever. She smiled.

"Look at who's a doctor." She mocked. Slightly playful.

He had moved to sitting beside her on the bed, only staring at the closet.

"I think I should stay." He mentioned.

Inside, somewhere, she agreed. She wanted him to stay. Probably needed him in some instinctual way, but she didn't know why.

"I'm bad for you." The words came out slowly, like she had only realized it then. But she knew it all along. Ever since she met him on that ship. Only her intentions had started out originally evil.

Crush the friend to get to Yugi.

That was her plan. Of course it backfired because he was, to her surprise (and dismay at the time) good. Not at dueling, no that had come in time. But he was good. Inside. Where it mattered.

She figures that's why she had helped him. She wasn't looking for charity or friendship. But that's what she received, surprisingly. It didn't make sense to her, she didn't deserve it.

"I don't think so." The reply jarred her out of her thoughts.

She simply sighed in disagreement. She knew the truth if he was to blind to admit it. He knew it as well, he had to, she figured.

"You can stay tonight." The response shocked Joey.

Mai figured she would give into her selfish tendencies once more. One more time. Like that last shot of whiskey before going into rehab. Because she had to let him go, it was better this way. But she couldn't do it yet. Just one more day.

"So I'm really hungry." He mentioned, joking about it. His stomach made a rumbling sound, but she lacked the energy to do anything about it.

"I want to take a nap." The past few days had taken a toll on her. She needed sleep, but not just sleep, rest. Joey had taken the subtle hint and laid beside her on the bed looking for words but overall giving up on that idea. Instead they just laid there.

It wasn't the most romantic or passionate moment in his life. Or hers. Just silence. But it was a silence that she was comfortable with. It had been so long since she was comfortable with anything. Or anyone.

She knew, she thought anyhow, that she should have tried to say something. To spit out some pathetic apology or to ask for forgiveness. That wasn't their style.

Instead she closed her eyes, and muttered something along the lines of, "I'm glad you saved me."

Everything that they had gone through, most of her life, felt dream like. As if she was watching something else happen to someone else. Someone else who made many negative life decisions more that they should.

He snorts in his sleep, she discovered. He seemed more tired then her. The realization hit her head on. He's probably tired of saving her, although she even knows that's not true, but she tells herself it anyway.

She turned to face him, studying his facial features. Upon discovery, she decided, that he looked more at ease than he had in the prior days. Her eyelids were heavy, and she let sleep capture her, holding on to the feeling that maybe things would be alright after all.

* * *

The beeping of the alarm clock startled her from her slumber. The dream she had she can't remember, and gives up hopes of trying.

She sat up confused. She didn't remember setting the alarm clock. Especially for six in the morning. It was Sunday, she did not work on Sunday.

"Maybe Joey set it." She mumbled sleepily.

She had turned to ask him but that side of the bed was empty. There were no signs of him, and she found it odd that the blanket wasn't the bit wrinkled. Whereas, on her side, it was evident someone had been there. Prior to laying on the bed the blanket was tight, wrinkleless.

She called out his name, clumsily flicking on the lights. There wasn't any sign of him. She knew he wouldn't leave without telling her. He couldn't.

She walked back to her room to find her answering machine empty. She didn't delete any messages.

She crossed the living room to open the fridge to find it full of food. As full as she filled it anyway. She briefly remembered Joey muttering about starving.

Her eyes are drawn to the calendar, and it occurred to her that she is unsure of what day it is. She assumed it was Sunday. She flicked on the television to the news. The newscaster with the husky voice announced that it was Friday. He then continued to discuss about a famous doctor (Richard something, Mai wasn't paying attention) who was working on memory recovery.

Mai sat on her couch. Had it been a full week since she was out?

She was unsure.

She watched as the sun began to peek from the cloud, enlightening the population.

Her head ached, longing to understand.

"Was it a dream?" Could she have been dreaming? It seemed unlikely to her that Joey, a man of many words (usually loud ones in speech form), would have left her without saying goodbye. That was her style. He would have at least left a note, due to his stubbornness about leaving in the first place.

She glanced around her body, she did not have any cuts or bruises.

It did not make sense.

Not that her life usually made sense.

She wanted to call him. She wanted to find him. She also wanted to know if she was crazy. Because, as of that moment, she felt so.

"Must have been a dream."

Mai was used to having lifelike dreams. Dreams that engulfed her, chewed on her, and spit her back out to the world. She couldn't tell what was real, and what was an illusion. A madman's trick.

She gulped.

"What now?"

She knew her apartment was empty. She knew asking questions to the air was pointless. Her mind wondered. Part of her wanted to call work, take the day off, and (as insane as it sounded), find Joey Wheeler. Another part of her wanted to go to work, pretend this event never happened and continue with life.

She laughed. She's tried that before. Living as if nothing happened. It seems that in the end, her dreams always win out, and dreams as she has lived to discover are rather difficult to run away from. She can run from friends, family, but not herself.

Even though, from some odd point, she figured that that was what her dream was about. Her getting the chance to be someone new, but not taking it. Instead, she was with Joey.

It occurred to her, on several accounts, all of her life seemed to led to Joey. No matter what road she traveled on, what country she resided in, everything led to him.

This epiphany led her to act upon her original idea.

Taking work off was easy. Leaving her apartment was easier. Navigating through the airport full of busy people with busier lives was in comparison to her task, easy. She never cared for planes, but her mind wouldn't allow her to focus on her fear.

She sat in second class, last minute plane tickets, she learned, are somewhat difficult to come by. The woman next to her had a small child. The child had a tendency to scream every five seconds, causing the woman to sigh and scold in lower tones. This occurred the whole plane ride, leaving Mai glad that she had no children to call her own.

When she arrived, it was night. It was also somewhat chilly, the brisk air something she really hadn't prepared for.

Not that she prepared. Her clothes were quickly packed, probably wrinkled by now. She dumped them in some hotel room that she reserved over the Internet. As she searched for a jacket from her suitcase, she realized she had no plan.

It was all chance.

She had never really been one to plan. But she was never one to completely act without any thought whatsoever. She always had some general idea. Aside from knocking on Joey's front door, her plan stopped.

She hoped he was alone. That he could understand. That he missed her. That he didn't hate her.

She sighed. This had to be a bad idea. She couldn't have traveled across the world to talk to someone about a bad dream.

Mai, luckily, had remembered where Joey lived.

But that's not where she went. She needed to press pause, to stop. She needed to think.

There was this one spot, it overlooked some form of water, she wasn't sure, and at the right time of night it was beautiful. The moonlight colored the water. Mai was always fond of night. Well, she used to be.

She hadn't appreciated the stars in a long time. She spent so much time trying to escape the darkness. Lately though, she was coming to find that it was a part of her. That she was trying to run away from something she simply couldn't.

She placed her bag beside her, and sat on the edge of the pier. The idea of jumping crossed her mind on more that one occasion. Honestly she was not going to do it. Not after traveling half way around the world. But she fantasized about it. The feel of the cold water against her. A shivering feeling that would travel up her spine. The feeling of her clothes pressed tightly against her skin, adding on additional weight that would drag her down unless she fought it.

Mai hated how even her mind tried to free her from her problems.

She knew that perhaps sitting on a pier in the middle of the night in Domino was not the most brilliant idea. She was very aware of this, but part of her knew she could handle herself. The other part simply didn't care.

She heard footsteps behind her. She knew she should have looked, but didn't. As they arrived closer, she didn't budge.

Her eyes were fixed upon the stars. A world bigger than hers.

The idea has given her hope, it always had. Although odd, when she was young, she would lie on the grass in the courtyard. Alone. In the middle of the night. She would gaze for hours, taking comfort that the stars were sprinkled throughout a huge sky, one that was shared by everyone. That maybe somebody, somewhere, was just as alone as she was. Knowing she wasn't the only one who wasn't alone let her carry on.

She wondered when that hadn't become enough.

"Mai?"

Her name was spoken softly. Like a question. She didn't look, didn't physically respond. She wasn't ready to tear herself away.

"Hi Joey."

She hated herself. She traveled across the world, to mutter "hi Joey".

She was never very good with words. Or surprises. She liked being in control, having the upper hand. She needed a plan, and she didn't have one.

She didn't have a speech about friendship or forgiveness or a neatly wrapped apology with a bow on top. Instead, she had a suitcase with wrinkled clothes and illusions about jumping off into piers.

She could tell, without looking, he was displacing his weight from foot to foot. He did that when he was nervous. He sat next to her, avoiding her face, speechless.

"I had a bad dream." The words sounded stupid, even to her.

"What happened?"

He would ask, without a beat. No arguing, no yelling, no long speeches about her horrible actions, just a short question.

She wanted to yell at him for not yelling at her. Confusing. She knew.

"You were in it. It made me realize a lot of things."

"Such as?"

She figured she should have explained everything. EVERYTHING. Everything that went wrong everyday since she left. The first time. Everything since Dartz.

There weren't enough words for her to describe her actions. Maybe she just wasn't aware of them. But she wanted to be.

Before she knew it, the words were spilling out of her mouth. She wanted to stop, tried to stop, stumbled over sentences a few times, but her dream kept trying to push itself out.

Joey sat patiently. He could only stare at her.

"Which brought me here to you. Because I know I said I'd be better. But I'm not. I can't. I've tried, and I still give into the darkness. And I'm selfish. But I missed you." Her gaze turned to the star, praying that maybe she wasn't crazy. Praying that this wasn't a bad idea.

"I've had dreams about you too."

"And buffalo wings, but that's only because I was dared to eat half of my body weight in wings. Bad idea." He added. He was always trying to brighten the mood.

"I knew you'd be back." His voice sounded so sure.

And that was it.

"You did?" Part of her knew too. Somehow the two of them were intertwined. It didn't make sense, she was bad for him. But maybe, just maybe, he could bring enough good out in her to make her okay. For herself. For him.

"Yeah. When you were ready. I know we betrayed you. I did. But, the past is the past. I tried to save you, you tried to undo what you did. I wish you wouldn't have left again. I understood, nobody else really did. But I did."

She wanted to cry. To let go of everything she ever felt. She didn't though.

"Plus, I'm undeniable."

A smile crept onto her face. She could feel her eyes lift up.

Maybe there was a part of the darkness that was okay. That's how they found each other. In the darkness. But he was the light she needed. She thirsted for. And for a brief second, she didn't want to run away. She wanted time to stop. To pause this moment, with the stars and the pier and the way his eyes met her's. She didn't need to apologize. She didn't need to beg for forgiveness. She would, in time. She knew that explaining everything to Yugi and the rest would be tearful and complicated.

She knew that she was bad.

Even so, he made her want to try. To be better.

And maybe, because of this, she would be okay. And she would learn to accept herself. Sitting on the pier with him, made her happier than she had been in a while. This freedom she was searching for, this place she had been running toward, maybe it was this spot. This spot of realization, where light meets darkness, this spot of acceptance. It occurred to her that things could be okay, in time.

He smiled at her. It was evident to her that he had missed her. Probably more than she had missed him. Although Joey was a man of words, he didn't mind sitting in the silence with her. He grabbed her hand lightly. She gave a small smile. This wasn't an illusion.

Maybe for once in her life, she made the right choice.

Maybe.

**The End**


End file.
